I don’t have anything brilliant to say, just something that has been on my mind. As most of you know, my wife has a brutal illness called CRPS. She is hesitant to talk about it, because if she says what it is actually like, she thinks she will sound melodramatic. So she tends to downplay what is going on. But I see her eyes.
And I also know that this disease is one of the worst things that someone can get. No matter how we describe it, the facts of the case are actually worse. A normal person may describe a burning sensation in a limb. But when a sufferer of CRPS describes a burning, she means that her whole leg feels as if it is immersed in burning oil, and charring away. And it never stops. Month after month, year after year. If you don’t have it, it is really hard to imagine that something as horrible as this actually exists. But it does.
So here’s my thought that I have been having. I hear the same things from those who have suffered terrible abuse, either as children or as adults. And what is the one thing that they always struggle with? Everyone that they try to tell is sure that they are exaggerating, being melodramatic, or just making it up. “People that are that wicked don’t actually exist, do they? You HAD to have misunderstood.”
We have a hard time fathoming deep and profound moral evil, where someone would purposely, continually, year after year after year would plot, plan and carry out destruction and pain against his wife and children. People like that don’t exist, do they? And we cannot fathom it. It is easier to say that perhaps the victim is just being dramatic…
And all of the sudden, I find myself wondering if there is a connection. It seems that for the most part, people don’t want to believe that something as horrible as this can exist on this earth. Maybe it happens to others, but not here. This belongs to another culture, another kind of people, another age.
If we admit that there is great evil – either moral evil, or physical evil – then we have to admit that we really don’t have any control at all. It terrifies us that there is something so monstrously evil, painful, or wicked that there isn’t anything at all that we can do about it. It is hard for us to acknowledge that there is something greater that we can bear in this cursed world.
It’s easier for us to admit that perhaps people are exaggerating, being melodramatic, because the alternative is a world that is not really a very nice place to live.
But isn’t this exactly why Christ died for us? Because we couldn’t do anything to take away the curse, God sent his only begotten Son. And He WILL wipe away every tear, and there will be a new heavens and a new earth, because this present age is corrupt and fading away.
So we do what we can to alleviate the curse. We seek justice, truth, equity, medicine, comfort. And seek it where we can find it. We work for it, we strive for it. But we always keep our affections where Christ is, for He is our life.
And we also need to hear one another. Yes, horrible evil exists. Monstrous men, monstrous diseases. Almost always, the truth is worse than what is reported. We want to be believed, so we downplay it. We don’t want to be outcasts or make people uncomfortable. So generally, we skirt around the edges, and keep the pain inside. But the truth is, great evils exist. But an even greater truth is that Christ is greater than them all.
This is what has been on my mind lately.
My Only Comfort 
This was so beautifully written. Thank you to the Powell’s for sharing your lives and showing us the truth from God’s Word.
“But the truth is, great evils exist. But an even greater truth is that Christ is greater than them all.”
This was like a breath of fresh air. Amen.
It can be very painful not being heard and understood, people have a tendency to recoil, they simply cannot handle the truth about the nature of evil. Sadly when people are facing it, what they really need the most is simply to be heard, someone to tell them, yes, I see it too. You’re not crazy. That means every thing, that makes all the difference in the world.
Isn’t it amazing how powerful it is? The words I believe you , are so powerful.
Amen. We have the power to speak life into people with our words and that makes all the difference in the world.
Yes. I suffer chronic pain. Not as horrific as your wife’s. I think I would relive terror, than live with what you describe. But, maybe I can say that because the abuse ended. Either way, your right. I can never say ever how bad it was. My husband doesn’t even know. The only guy who knew some was my therapist, and I am sure if he wasn’t being paid he would have left at the first hint of trouble. I like the aye you think. And women can be abusers too. I think they are worse than men. Out of all of my years in therapy and healing, I never dealt with my mum. I was raped, beat, thrown in holes with snakes , poked , prodded until I bled in places no one should. Left outside locked away with rats,and could deal with that. But I never ever can or will delve into my mothers abuse. It has been twenty seven yrs since I have seen her and the thought of seeing her brings terror. If I had to see her I would need heavy medication and I am pretty sure it would not work. I have often wondered about the makeup of women. There is definitely something God put into women to love and nurture that Is different than men. And when evil violates that, it is far worse than what any man can inflict. I wonder if there is scripture about that? I can’t look myself. I don’t want to explore myself, but I would read something I think. I like your honest thoughts. I liked your last post on the Holy Spirit and spent a lot of time thinking on it. I was a part of the Vineyard movement back in the late 80’s and 90’s. I don’t believe in that teaching, but still have to filter out those methods. I keep revisiting your post and each time it becomes clearer. I am not familiar with the catechism.
I am so sorry that that has happened to you. I do think there is something more brutal about an evil mother. I don’t know what it is. Perhaps the nurturing, or that there is a bond there, that isn’t with the father. I don’t know, and scripture doesn’t speak specifically about it. God does mention how a mother doesn’t forget her child – God uses it to describe how he will never cast the church off, and points us to an example of nature. So how monstrous it is when a mother forgets her child!
But I don’t know. I know the pain is intense and so many want to pretend that it doesn’t happen.
The church should be the first to say, “I believe you.” It’s what Jesus did. He healed the woman and then said, “Who touched me” until she told him everything.
We should be more like that. We should hear and speak and tell everything. It is how we were made. The devil wants to keep us silent – they prefer the dark, Jesus said, because their works are evil.
But Jesus shines the light.
I hope and pray that you will have the strength to someday shine the light in those dark and evil places. It hurts oh so bad, but then healing tears flow.
Thank you for entrusting us with your story. I believe you.
Thanks for believing me. To acknowledge it is the beginning of healing. But I wanted to add a twist. My mother was an adoptive mother. I did not get adopted til I was 2.5 yrs old. Prior to this I was in foster care, after being a preemie in hospital for 6 months. I can only imagine how worse it would be to be bonded for 9months, and then 2.5 yrs. to an evil woman. What does Jezebel mean…I mean she was an evil female. Would that play into it?
I appreciate this post which openly addresses the reality of evil, the importance of acknowledging the extent of such wickedness, along with the victory over it found in Jesus Christ.
Dear Bunkababy
I believe you.
Pastor Sam, you may publish the rest of this comment at your discretion.
TRIGGER WARNING.
I know a woman who was adopted and brought up in a Satanic cult. Her primary abuser was her adoptive mother. She was not literally thrown in a pit with snakes, but she was systematically tortured in many other ways including whippings, and being handed over to be raped by the adult men many of whom paid the ‘mother’ for access to the little girl. She was also used in the creation of films that were sold to pedophiles and perverts. This was in the days before cyberspace. And the torture and mind control in the Satanic cult…I will not even attempt to describe it here.
In adulthood, the woman I know did some digging into the adoption records and found that there were dodgy signs in the adoption paperwork. The adoption appeared to have been organised by a network of people in the medical system and adoption system who were members of the satanic cult.
This kind of thing DOES go on. Most people don’t want to think about it.
Bunkababy, I shall be praying for you. I have experienced much deep healing through Jesus’ wonderful grace-filled love and compassion. He has healed so many deep tangled messes in my mind/body/emotions/spirit.
I shall pray that this kind of healing happens for you. And I want to assure you that some of the healing Jesus did for me did NOT involve me having to remember the details of the trauma. Jesus knew what I could bear to remember, and what I could not bear to remember.
He is indeed the Wonderful Counselor. A bruised reed He does not break.
Thank you, Barbara. And you are correct. Jesus has the power to comfort all who are afflicted. He is our friend, our helper, our God and our king.
When the Bible speaks of deliverance from evil, it is not speaking of minor little things or inconveniences, but real, cruel, unthinkably evil wickedness. Jesus endured this wickedness Himself, and in doing so, took the curse upon Himself so that we might be set free.
He sets the prisoner free and binds up the brokenhearted. I pray for peace and healing.
Thanks for sharing this! It is something I have been pondering myself lately – Why do we so often doubt a victim? On rare occasion someone may be telling a lie, but most of the time not. As Christians we should understand the reality of sin and evil more than anyone else, but Christians can be the worst culprits it seems for disbelieving a victim. And we can’t seek justice if we won’t even acknowledge that injustice is out there! I encounter much “head in the sand” mentality. Anyway – good post!
Oh I just wanted to say, when I questioned God if I should ever pursue my mother abuse, it was a distinct impression not to, lest I completely break. I got the impression I was being held together in my mind by his hand of grace, and not to mess with it. He would sustain me body and soul till the end of my days when complete healing comes.
Amen!
I am so glad you have the assurance that He will sustain you body and soul till the end of your days when complete healing comes.
🙂 🙂 🙂
and ((((hugs)))) if you want them
I’ve had to cut off my family because they don’t believe me about things I’ve been through. I’m to the point that I don’t talk about it and just stuff it down. It’s safer that way. Nobody wants to hear about it anyway. I’ve been told I had an emotional problem and just made the whole thing up. It’s lonely cutting people out of my life, but all they did was beat me down and tell me how I’ve destroyed my life. I’ve been told to “get a grip” and that I was being over dramatic. I’m just done trying.
I understand, Christy, but it kind of a lonely half-life. God created us for fellowship. Many people have found community on-line, or have finally found local support groups who listen and believe. God created us to speak, to shine a light into those dark places. I pray you can find that.
It is lonely when you lose those who you thought were friends, but God has others for you. Jesus himself said of family, “Whoever does the will of my father, the same are my brothers, mother, and sisters.” In other words, God has his people, small and hidden, but his people, and we are family. Often we lose our physical family when we speak the truth, but by speaking God brings us another family.
I pray this for you.
If you would like to find on-line support, find me on facebook, and I’ll introduce you around to some very godly Christian people who know what you are going through.
Thanks. I’ll find you on Facebook.
Hi Christy, you may find this page on A Cry For Justice helpful:
https://cryingoutforjustice.com/what-if-the-abusers-were-ones-parents/
“But the truth is, great evils exist.”
Ezekiel 8:6-13 —
And He said to me, “Son of man, do you see what they are doing, the great abominations which the house of Israel are committing here, so that I would be far from My sanctuary? But yet you will see still greater abominations.”
Then He brought me to the entrance of the court, and when I looked, behold, a hole in the wall. He said to me, “Son of man, now dig through the wall.” So I dug through the wall, and behold, an entrance. And He said to me, “Go in and see the wicked abominations that they are committing here.”
So I entered and looked, and behold, every form of creeping things and beasts and detestable things, with all the idols of the house of Israel, were carved on the wall all around. Standing in front of them were seventy elders of the house of Israel, with Jaazaniah the son of Shaphan standing among them, each man with his censer in his hand and the fragrance of the cloud of incense rising. Then He said to me, “Son of man, do you see what the elders of the house of Israel are committing in the dark, each man in the room of his carved images? For they say, ‘The LORD does not see us; the LORD has forsaken the land.’” And He said to me, “Yet you will see still greater abominations which they are committing.”
…. as Ps Sam said, great evil exists; but an even greater truth is that Christ is greater than all the evil doers.
And as this passage in Ezekiel illustrates, God is not afraid of naming by name the RELIGIOUS LEADERS who are doing great evil.
God’s judgement and justice is perfect. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.
Barbara I thought you were telling my story. That happened to me also. The adoption too. At 2.5 years. I did find my birth mum. She means nothing to me. But my heart sunk when you said they fiddled with the adoption. I have wondered that about mine but have no resources. Nor do I want to look. All in all, I think adoptions like that took place often. I know my parents adopted to abuse, there is no mistaking that.
I’m so sorry that you were forced to endure all those abominations, Bunkababy.
Sam,
The trauma of my youth is over. I spent at least twenty years in recovery. It was terrible times to deal with. I am well enough to function daily with a clear head and heart. My world is small. My friends are friends I have had since my teens. They are all long distance. They are safe people. I don’t rotate out of my safe zone. My children are all in their 20’s. I don’t suffer with the emotional trauma unless it is prodded out somehow. The post about Tamar. Upset me for about a week. It was a good upset though. To get where I am is a miracle . I really shouldn’t have this sound of mind. When I look bacK I am shaken to see how broken and dysfunctional I was. God is good. I know most others don’t function as well and are or have been in so much torment they don’t live anymore, or are hospitalized and medicated by professionals or themselves. I had an amazing Christian Dr. And therapist.they both told me never to go on medication or go to the psych ward. They always said to keep in my right mind, and not to let people alter it. I did use Ativan through the worst though. I was terrified to drink or use anything else. It made me face things head on and forced me to deal with the pain for relief. But on the whole , God has done an amazing job of clearing the mind and continues to do so. This is different than dealing with memories though. The sound mind is coming through learning and seeking after the truth in Gods word. Truth that you and a few others learn and pass along. I still find scripture hard to handle on my own, as it was used to literally corrupt my mind, whilst abuse was taking place. I am grateful to find your blog. And Barbara’s. I listen to and read Anton Bosch from Sun Valley Fellowship too. And Times Square church online. I don’t bother with church in real life. Sadly It’s not in my safe zone. So I want to encourage you and your wife to press on, even though clearly there is struggle. I really appreciate reading your insights.
Hi Bunkababy, your testimony of recovery is really important. I hope and trust that others will benefit and learn from it. Everyone’s recovery journey is unique, but I’ve observed that all survivors of abuse also share quite a bit in common.
You may have already seen them, but here a few posts on ACFJ about untwisting scriptures that were used against us:
https://cryingoutforjustice.com/2013/05/23/untouchable-scriptures/
https://cryingoutforjustice.com/2013/06/06/untouchable-scriptures-part-2/
https://cryingoutforjustice.com/2015/08/13/thursday-thought-untwisting-scriptures-used-against-abuse-victims/
https://cryingoutforjustice.com/2016/10/24/untwisting-scriptures-an-excellent-new-book-by-rebecca-davis/
Thank you Barbara. I went over to read the links. Unfortunately, the ones they used were not the usual ones. Mostly, verses implying far more sinister outcomes, and reasons to apply them.
I guess that maybe the scriptures used against victims of spousal abuse may be not the same ones that are used by abusive parents against their children.
Maybe someone somewhere has written article about scriptures that are used by abusive parents against their children.
I was touched deeply both by this post and by the comments. Sam, I’m praying for you and your wife as you pursue treatment, and you’re right, such a kind of pain seems nearly impossible to comprehend.
Bunkababy, I believe you and thank God for the healing you’ve experienced. Christy, I believe you too and pray that you’ll find the safe and supportive people you need in your life.
Thank you. The world is a broken place, but Christ is a great redeemer and friend.
I found your post by searching for ‘CRPS’ and I loved it. I have recently been diagnosed with this so am struggling with all the emotions that come with that. Being told that ‘it’s in your head,’ ‘You’re making it up’ and I’m ‘being dramatic’ does nothing to help the situation. I knew nothing about CRPS until the pain started and as you explained, it doesn’t leave. I downplay it to get by too. Your wife is lucky to have your support. Thank you for sharing your quick thought
We found treatment in Italy that actually cured her. She can give you the information if you want like. You can find me on Facebook. The neridronate treatment was amazing. May God bless you!