1 Timothy 3:3 – God gives authoritative teaching on who is to be ordained to church office. It would be good to refresh yourself with this list.
One of them always strikes me: not a bully, (or “striker” in the KJV). A bully is pugnacious, always looking to tear someone down with his words. He is not concerned with learning, growing, understanding; he is only concerned with winning. Everything is competition, and he must come out on top, even if it means the destruction of everyone around him.
He loves to fight. He loves to watch someone wither under his words or his fists, for it gives him a sense of power to be able to exercise dominion over someone else.
You can spot a bully easily enough. It’s how they speak to the server in the restaurant, especially if she is a woman.
You can spot them when they speak to other Christians on social media. They aren’t afraid to use obscene language, insults, even blasphemous words; they don’t tremble at calling you RACA, or tearing you down with withering contempt if you disagree. They will not submit to God or anyone. Their words are words of death and pain; they are full of corrupt communication. They will offer you friendship only on their terms, only if you submit completely to every view they hold, or they will destroy you through gossip and slander.
You can spot the bully in the body language of his family. His wife is downcast, stands behind him in church. She’s not used to being addressed without him present. His kids are very “well-behaved”. They don’t act up like other kids, they look at the ground, sit very still in church, because they are terrified. A man leads his family. A bully terrifies them. He likes it that way. He enjoys the look of fear on the faces of the ones he is supposed to love. A bully is without “natural affection”.
This is why Paul commanded Timothy to also look at the kids. How a man manages his house is a clue as to how he will manage the church.
A bully seeks to control others by pounding them with the law and its consequences.
He is not fit for church office and must be removed if he has been ordained, or the whole church will suffer.
The church is a community of grace, love, salvation, peace. Bullies never allow anyone to rest.
Could this be why the church has lost its witness in the world? We have been controlled by bullies far too long. How can we expect God’s favor when we stridently and obstinately refuse to obey him?
Let your gentleness be known to all men. This is what the Bible says. But instead we extoll and exalt the bully. We ordain the one who wins at all cost, the one who terrifies the children into submission and fills the church with other bullies. We ordain the one who knows how to keep the uppity women in line and how to win arguments. But no matter what title we give them, to God they will always be false shepherds. For only God can raise up shepherds for the sheep. He tells us how to spot a shepherd. Do you think we should start paying attention?
But Christ is coming. And he will deliver his people from the ruthless reign of the righteous bully.
In the meantime, cast them out. And strife will cease. Amazing how that works.