Category Archives: redemption

What if I’m not wanted?

We all have those things that we carry around with us. One of my fears is to be kicked out, unwanted, excluded.

I say awkward things. I act weird. I am pretty sure that I smell strange.

I take several showers a day because I am afraid that I might be dirty.

I have never been to a party or a gathering where I didn’t spend hours afterwards wondering if I said something weird.

For this reason, I can’t imagine enjoying myself at anything, really. It’s too much work.

I would far rather be serving the table than to be served at a table.

The fear of being thrown out is so intense and pervasive that it colors everything.

I am afraid that I just take up space that I don’t belong in.

I am afraid that everyone would rather I didn’t come.

I’m afraid that they are just talking about me behind my back.

I’m afraid that my fears make me obnoxious.

I’m afraid that being afraid is really just being self-absorbed.

And then I’m afraid that being self-absorbed means that I don’t deserve to be at the table and that place really should just go somewhere else.

And by that time, my breathing increases, I start to sweat, I have to count my fingers and do my breathing exercises….

And it is far easier to just stay home. But then, it is lonely at home. So I force myself.

One of the examples of the kingdom of God is a banquet full of guests. “Blessed is the one who eats and drinks at the kingdom of God!”

I can’t imagine it. But at the same time I long for it.

Blessed is the one who rests in the bosom of the Almighty.

Rest in his arms? I can’t imagine it. My mind would go into overdrive. And yet, that I what I long for.

In other words, we aren’t going to be ready for the kingdom of God until God makes us ready for the kingdom of God. How can we take our impure, unclean selves into the presence of the pure and beautiful Lamb of God?

We all want to be back in Eden. We long to be in God’s arms again. We want to be known and loved and to know and to love.

And that terrifies us at the same time.

How can the marriage supper of the lamb be a joyful thing when we can’t stop our fears and anxieties and self-sabotage long enough to even have a drink with friends?

Come quickly, Lord Jesus. Deliver me from the body of this death!!

Make me ready, clothe me with your beautiful garments, hold me in your strong arms, protect me from myself, quiet my heart – let the peace of God rule my heart AND my mind.

Let me truly absorb that you took all of my fears and my ugliness and my filthiness upon yourself. Let me feel the waters of my baptism running down my body washing me clean. Anoint me with pure oil.

Fill me with your Breath. Breathe on me so I can breathe again.

Let me breathe with your breath of love. Shine in me so that I may receive your love and your beauty – that I might know grace and accept it.

For Father, I know this because you told me: You love me. You long for me to be in your presence. You want me there.

Lord Jesus, you came to take the curse away from me, putting death to death, and conquering the grave with its ugliness and fears.

And Holy Breath of God, Spirit of the Lord Jesus, fill me with your life that I might be one with the Lord Jesus, flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone. For then, I can truly rest.

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Filed under redemption, rest

Image-bearers

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. (Gen. 1:27)

Sometimes I use this blog as an opportunity to jot down an idea while it is mulling. It is sort of an invitation to mull right along with me.

I have over the past few months been meditating on the doctrine of eternal generation. This is the doctrine that God the Father is begetting the Son in an unfathomable, eternal act. This act of begetting does not have a before, after, or future, but takes place in eternity without any change in the nature of God.

Simply, this means that it is of God’s essence to fellowship, to love, and to overflow with goodness. This goodness flows into creation and God created man to share in the love and fellowship of the Trinity. It was fitting, then, that men and women be created in the image of God, to share in that fellowship as much as creatures are able to.

So…mull on that a bit…

Of course, man fell. And that corrupted everything. Jesus came into the world to restore what was destroyed in the fall.

In other words, he came to bring us back into the fellowship of love that we were created to take a part in.

25 O righteous Father, the world hath not known thee: but I have known thee, and these have known that thou hast sent me.
26 And I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them. (Jn. 17:25-26)

OK. Moving on.

Let’s take this to the next step. If the essence of God is eternal communion and love (which the doctrine of eternal generation teaches), then sin is far greater than we can imagine, for it breaks the fellowship with God. We are born alienated and strangers to that fellowship.

This is what the church meant when it taught the “T” in “TULIP” – total depravity. Man cannot climb back into God’s graces because man is fallen in the totality of his being.

But according to scripture, even though it teaches that “all have sinned and have come short of the glory of God”, sin is not the essence of who men and women are. Essentially, they are image-bearers of God. Therefore, they are redeemable, for when sin is taken away, the image of God remains and is restored.

So here is what I am mulling – what if we viewed human beings as essentially image-bearers of God rather than essentially as sinners?

Think about that. How much would change in your thinking?

Even in the law, a criminal was not to be tortured and beaten to a pulp because of the image-bearing that was essentially there. He was not to be despised (Deut. 25:3)

When we view people as primarily sinners, we cannot see anything worth redeeming in them.

We must then shun music and art and fashion and poetry for fear that we will somehow be tainted by “sinners”.

And, worse, we cannot see beyond our senses, to the inherent dignity and worth of every man, woman and child as reflecting their heavenly Father, whether they remain in their sins or are redeemed by Christ.

And so we must ask ourselves, “How much is a little girl worth?”

“How much is a little boy worth?”

And if we view children as “vipers in diapers”, and as essentially sinners, we have to answer, “Not much…” and our actions reflect that answer.

But as Christians we believe the bible. We believe that men and women are not essentially sinners. Sin came later, a corruption of what was essentially there, which is what makes it so heinous. But it also makes men and women redeemable, which is what Christ’s mission was. To redeem his people from their sins and misery.

If we truly believe that, then the question “How much is a child worth?” has a clear answer.

Worth fighting for. Worth protecting. Worth all of your treasures and gifts to love and protect. Worth your love and your joy and your cherishing.

If we truly believed that, would churches continue to condone and overlook violence against women?

If we truly believed that, would slavery and racism have ever been a thing?

If we believed that, would there have been a genocide of California Indians?

The history of the United States, for all of the good that was there, forgot quite frequently that men and women are essentially image-bearers of God, and God takes how we treat them quite seriously, whether they are still in their sins or not.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son.”

You were all created in honor. Fallen in sin, yes. Unable to free yourselves. Yes.

Sinking in the mud of death and misery? Yes.

But because essentially you are an image-bearer of God, you are worth redemption.

12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, (Jn. 1:12)

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Filed under Image of God, redemption