Category Archives: 9 things

9 things about Marriage and Divorce in the Bible

1. The Bible was written in the context of a patriarchal culture. But everything that the Bible promises is the obliteration of the patriarchal culture in the kingdom of Christ, where there is no more male or female, rich or poor, bond or free, but all are one body in Christ.

2. The instructions on marriage and divorce in both the Old and the New Testaments were given to protect the weak – particularly the women and children – from the power of the strong. Redemption would only come from Jesus. But the law was designed to give a measure of protection from the worst abuses until Jesus came.

3. The Bible does not say or teach anything like “God hates divorce”.

4. The leaders of the Jews were in the middle of a debate about whether Deuteronomy 24 teaches that a man could kick his wife out for any reason . This is the background behind Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 5 and Matthew 19. It has nothing to do with a woman fleeing an abusive spouse.

5. There is no such thing as either an “ecclesiastical divorce” or a “marriage in the eyes of God”.

6. According to the Bible, if one is married, one is married. If one is divorced, one is divorced. There is no category for perpetual separation. It only breeds confusion. 1 Corinthians 7 is addressing another issue entirely.

7. There are no instructions anywhere about getting the permission of your church leaders before filing for divorce. Apparently this practice only began after the church took over the duties of the magistrate after the fall of Rome. Wherever it came from, there isn’t a whisper of it in the Bible. You don’t have to ask the elders’ permission to marry. You also don’t need their permission to divorce.

8. If you have fled a spouse, filed a divorce, separated from a spouse and are now convicted that your reasoning was indeed sinful, God has washed you completely clean, you have no stigma, no stained garment and no spoiled rose. Christ’s blood is powerful and effective against every stain. Make whatever amends you need to make, right whatever wrongs you need to right, and move on.

9. Any theology that one espouses that makes one the superior of another one of God’s children – no matter what language you use – is not from God. You can call it “loving leadership”, or “Covenant headship” or “leadership roles” or right of creation, or anything else you wish – the fact remains. No where, in all of scripture, does a person have a God-given right to rule over the body and soul of another human being. King James called it “The divine right of kings”; White southern Presbyterianism called it the “order of creation” for whites to rule over blacks. And modern theobros call it “gender roles”. It boils down to the same garbage. To be a Christian is to become the slave of all – (Phil. 2), just as Christ did, and love our neighbor, including our spouses, with the same love with which we love ourselves.

 

More to come. If you are in danger, or live with abuse – whether spiritual, physical, emotional, or sexual, please find safety. Please call 1-800-799-SAFE

God redeemed you, body and soul to be free. He did not redeem you to become the target of an angry spouse’s rage. He desires to set you free.

If you would like to talk these things over, please make an appointment with me at www.sampowellministries.com

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9 things about the whole Howerton/Driscoll/debacle

  • To be honest, it wasn’t a stripper. He was a sword swallower and a daredevil. Taking off one’s shirt doesn’t make one a stripper.
  • Just to be clear, just because something arouses Mark Driscoll doesn’t mean that it is Jezebel. It really needs to be said, because the next step is to start burning at the stakes.
  • The sword swallower was the most honest thing about the whole mess. A pox on all the rest.
  • In the whole of scripture, there is no command anywhere about “not saying anything negative about God’s anointed”. In fact, the opposite is true. One who declares himself to be a teacher is to be rebuked before all so that others might fear.
  • Elton John once sang about “tryna find gold in a silver mine, tryna find whiskey in a bottle of wine…” as difficult as both scenarios are, they are nothing compared to trying to find one of “God’s Anointed Ones” at whatever that disgusting display was.
  • A testosterone fueled, ape-chest-beating, grunting display of he-man one-upmanship isn’t Christianity. But it is the logical end result of the evangelical obsession with power, chest thumping and braggadocio.
  • None of it had anything to do with Matthew 18, Christianity, virtue, ethics, Jezebel or manliness.
  • To me, the biggest shame of the whole mess was that there are thousands and thousands of people who think that this is Christianity, give all of these morons a platform and allow them to thrive. I weep for what we have become.

And nine is a big one. So follow me here.

Many years ago, I was a corporate trainer, responsible for training hundreds of people. I went to many, many training conferences and saw many incredibly talented and energetic motivational speakers.

Many of us trainers went back to our companies and started using that material. It was powerful and effective.

But it wasn’t preaching.

The biggest problem with all of these people is that they masquerade as preachers of the gospel. They go to conferences, share material, take notes, learn how to get the laughs, and the amens, and the oohs and aahs. They surround themselves with people who know how to say, “MMM mmm mmm. Meaty. Meaty.”

And when people get bored, they bring out tanks, sword swallowers, guns, bigger lunatics – and even start shouting at each other. All in the name of Christ. They learned from Oral Roberts, Jack van Impe, and Chuck Norris. And they watch the money roll in.

And the thing that flows through my mind is “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.”

Did Christ really redeem a people for himself so that these strutting morons can play “mine is bigger”  and continue to fleece God’s people?

Seriously, wake up. Scripture continues to be fulfilled right in front of us. (This isn’t an “end times prophesy”. Christ could come tomorrow, or in another 2000 years, but the scripture is still being fulfilled:

Woe to them! They have taken the way of Cain; they have rushed for profit into Balaam’s error; they have been destroyed in Korah’s rebellion. These people are blemishes at your love feasts, eating with you without the slightest qualm—shepherds who feed only themselves. They are clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted—twice dead. They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom blackest darkness has been reserved forever. (Jude 11-13)

Next time, I will speak of things that are beautiful, lovely, pure, and wise.

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9 things on my birthday

I am nearing that age when people will begin to describe me as “that eccentric elderly gentleman…” I don’t think I’m up for that yet.

I have no issue with the “eccentric” part. I’ve made peace with that years ago.

This past year has been a whirlwind. Loss, grief and unimaginable blessings, all at once. One year ago, I never heard of Faribault. Now it is my new home and God has opened so many doors.

What was meant for evil against me, God meant for good. Since I have been driven out of my former circles, I have been placed in a unique position to minister and serve those who also have been driven out. The stories of abuse that I am hearing break my heart. So many have had nowhere to turn. So we meet with Jesus outside the camp, where he is. I consider than an honor.

With my new work in kitchen management, I have become more active than I have been in years. My cholesterol and glucose are under control, I’ve lost 15 pounds, and I feel better than I have for years. The first few weeks were brutal, but I’m slowly catching up.

This has nothing to do with my birthday, but it is interesting in light of the national meetings of several huge southern-based churches: These churches have insisted that sexual assault and abuse are “tragic, but there really isn’t anything we can do about it.” But if there is any hint of a woman in a position of authority, they will move heaven and earth to put a stop to it. It seems to me that if they put just a fraction of the effort that they put into keeping women in place into fighting sexual assault and domestic abuse, they might actually accomplish something.

But Jesus did say that you will know them by their fruits. They have exposed themselves by refusing to protect the sheep. It is time for the sheep to meet Jesus outside the camp.

I’ve just discovered a singer from Norway named Aurora. Wow. Scandinavia is producing some wonderful music lately.

And a final note – Isaiah said in Chapter 28 that all the tables of the priests and prophets are covered with vomit and excrement. When you say that Bill Gothard says some pretty good things, even if he is wrong about other things – it is like offering God a great feast, only contaminated with just a LITTLE bit of shit and vomit. How much makes the table inedible? Surprisingly to some, not very much. The leaven of the Pharisees poisons everything.

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9 things for May 31st

We love our new home. God has truly provided for us, and we are very thankful. Our friends have been wonderful and came through for us in so, so many ways.

I’m not sure how I feel about not being a pastor anymore. On the one hand, I have a lot of trauma recovery to do and sometimes I just need a moment to sit and stare. But on the other hand, there aren’t a lot of people who know what the gospel is and it burns in me. I wish I knew how to tell everyone.

But there is no taste for it anymore. People want to hear about how other people are ruining the country, how to live so that you aren’t like other people, and how it would be if our kind of people were in charge. None of that is the gospel. But that doesn’t seem to matter to the church anymore.

When we bought our house, the previous owners left a vintage component stereo system hooked up in the garage. It appears to be from the late 60s or early 70s. It is complete with the huge, plywood encased speakers. The sound is like nothing I have heard for the last 30 years. Fabulous.

I’m tired. I read somewhere that the hardest trauma to recover from is face-to-face irrational hate. This describes so much of what we have endured. Recovery might take some time. I’m not sure where to begin.

But our home is beautiful, and I am surrounded with love. The Shepherd has me in a tight embrace of love. That is a lot and I am confident that there will be healing in our future.

Here is an interesting fact about the city we have moved to: there is a railway bridge over one of the main roads. The clearance is pretty low. The trucks won’t change their route, and the railroad won’t change their bridge. So two or three times a month, a truck gets stuck under the bridge. Reality has a tendency to stubbornly refuse to change based upon the desires or beliefs of truck companies or railroads.

But even when a truck is stuck for pretending that reality is different than it is, the community responds with kindness, and helps wherever they can. There is a lesson there somewhere.

I have gotten myself stuck so many times trying to pretend that reality is different than it is. I am trying not to do that anymore. I am me, and there are certain types of people who will hate me and try to get as many people as they can to hate me as well. But I will still wash feet. Still follow my Shepherd; still love my wife; still proclaim peace to people that you probably don’t like, and still eat with sinners. I am just going to try to not let the hatred of others get to me so much. Life is too short.

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9 things about healthy men

A healthy man is not threatened when his wife is prospering. Rather, he is delighted.

A healthy man is not threatened when his wife has dreams and goals that are not about him.

A healthy man understands that his wife is an image-bearer of God, with gifts and goals and personhood and calling that rightfully belong to her.

A healthy man understands that his wife is not abandoning her personhood when she says, “I do”. She gives up nothing but singleness. She adds companionship and intimacy and love.

A healthy man lives with her with understanding, as a co-heir of eternal life. He does not need to control her, so he seeks to understand her.

A healthy man understands that when his wife is safe and prospering wherever God places her, she adds blessing upon blessing to her home.

A healthy man knows that Jesus is sanctifying and cleansing his wife and doesn’t need another mediator to do it.

A healthy man knows that love and respect, if not freely given, are not love and respect at all.

A healthy man knows that he has much to learn from a wise woman, if he is not too proud to listen.



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9 things (November 3)

Jesus has promised that he is gathering together the outcasts, the afflicted, the exiled and the despised. He is clothing them, cleansing them, and embracing them as family. Some days the longing for that Day is pretty intense.

Under the sun, it sometimes seems as if it is better to be greeted in the marketplace than it is to be an outcast. But Jesus tells us that he has a special care for the outcasts. He knows what one needs to compromise in order to be greeted in the marketplace.

For the last two days, I have seen headlines about a missing verse in the song, “You’re so vain” by Carly Simon. They are trying to convince me to open the headline, with the temptation that this verse might reveal who the song is about. I am having a hard time believing that anyone actually still cares. Of course, I have a hard time believing anyone EVER cared.

I recently read an article mocking what the author called the “victim mentality”. I cannot fathom what certain Christians think they are trying to accomplish by mocking victims of crimes. Sometimes I think that pastors are only concerned with not being bothered. When you mock certain people for having a “victim mentality” all that you are accomplishing in ensuring that your sheep will never, ever speak to you about what is actually on their hearts.

Throughout the world, men, women and children are being cast out of the churches, just as Jesus said they would (John 16:2). Bob Dylan sings, “It’s not dark yet. But it’s getting there”. The wolves are entrenched. The sheep are cast out. But Jesus is working. Nothing is outside of what he has already said would happen. And he is gathering his outcasts together.

Everyone likes to complain about social media. But the Lord is doing something wonderful through it. He is connecting his outcasts together and giving them hope. How beautiful are the feet of those who proclaim good tidings, even when those tidings are proclaimed  in unexpected ways.

Fall has arrived in Northern California. There is a crisp tang in the air. My wife is making fabulous apple crisp. The soup is on and the wine is flowing. Fall speaks peace to the soul, that the God of color, light, sunsets, smells, and tastes is the God who made us, cares for us, and is our Husband. Your maker is your husband (Isaiah 54)! What a thought! The leaves can rest and so can we.

Brahms’ Symphony #4 brings joy in a profound and intense way.

God gives his beloved ones sleep; but he gives it by strengthening our faith – that HE builds the house, protects the city, provides redemption, and calls his people to the Jerusalem which is above. (Psalm 127).

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“Christianity has a masculine feel…”

Thus spake John Piper, the wise. It makes me sad. There is a new religion that has entered through the American revivalists over the decades, and it isn’t Christianity. It is a religion of power, authority, money, influence and control. Its ugly babies are abuse, rape, violence, racism, and oppression.

This “religion” has a “masculine feel” – which is now defined as Christians taking dominion, conquering wives, controlling children, taking over counties, states, and eventually countries. (I believe that masculinity is a gift of God that can be used for much good, but that is another subject.)

It snuck in stealthily and some of us didn’t really wake up to it recently. And many, like me, have asked since “What happened to Christianity? How did it turn in to power and politics and hatred and blustering. How did it turn into abuse and oppression and coverup? How did the dynamic of authority and submission come to take the place of the gospel? What happened to the good news that the church was commissioned to proclaim?”

How could we have gotten it so wrong? Many have written on it and have done well. Most of them have been cast out of their churches, received death threats and suffered all sorts of abuse. All that does is prove the validity of the question. “When did Christianity turn into something so unlike itself?”

This is a blog. It isn’t a book. It is a short commentary designed to encourage thought. So I would like to simply modify Piper’s statement to something a little more Biblical, and leave it at that. If you like, you can compare these statements to Piper’s statement and determine for yourself, if you are willing to do so. Perhaps the answer to the question, “How did we get here?” might spring up in your mind.

Instead of saying, “Christianity has a masculine feel”, look at these nine more biblical alternatives:

“Christianity has a lover’s embrace feel” (Song of Songs)

“Christianity has a mothering hen and sheltering chicks feel” (Matthew 23:37)

“Christianity has a begging widow feel” (Luke 18:1-8)

“Christianity has a dying beggar feel” (Luke 16:20-21)

“Christianity has a babies and nursing infants feel” (Matthew 11:25; Matthew 21:16)

“Christianity has a big, warm, lying in each other’s arms feel” (Luke 15:20; John 13:23)

“Christianity has a desperate, helpless sinner feel” (Luke 18:13)

“Christianity has a hopeless prisoner, outcast, despised, mourning, fringe kind of feel” (Isaiah 61:1-3; Luke 4:18-19).

“Christianity has a safe, belonging, peaceful, nourishing, apron-wearing, serving one another kind of feel” (so, so, so many passages John 13; Romans 8; Revelation 20-21; Isaiah 2; Zephaniah 3)

There are probably many more, and the difference is crucial. There are those who have power, who are masculine in every cultural sense of the word; there are those who are in charge, who have money, who sit on thrones, who rule their houses, who have resources, time, authority and status…

But that isn’t Christianity. If you have those things, you must consider them all to be dung, be willing to give them all away, learn to wear an apron, become as a nursing child or begging widow, or you are, quite honestly, not worthy of Christ’s name. Nor are you worthy to use any of the power that God has given you until you first learn to lay it aside and take up an apron.

But on the other hand, those on the fringes, those who are unclean, those who are weak, beggars, cast-aways, despised, hated, thirsty, longing for love and for embrace and for belonging and safety, Jesus is speaking to YOU.

“Come unto me, and I will give you rest.”

Not “and I will teach you to be manly”

Not “and I will teach you how to have power over people”

Not “and I will teach you what you have to do to earn favor with God”

But “I will give you rest.”

I have heard that according to Babylonian mythology, the gods created humans because they needed workers.

God did not create us because he needed workers in his kingdom. He created us to rest in his bosom. He created us free to create, to plant, to reap, to sing, to dance, to rejoice in the love of the Holy Trinity, into which we have been sweetly drawn in by the power of the Holy Spirit.

When we turn it into a “masculine feel” of conquest, authority, power, control, we always end up in some truly ugly places.

Stop the idolatry of Babel, resurrected as Christian nationalism. Learn to rest in the bosom of the shepherd.

James 3:17–18 (NKJV)
17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.
18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

That can only happen when we learn how to rest in God’s love and stop trying to control everyone or make them our servants. Learn to wear the apron. Learn to rest in the embrace. Long for the lover’s voice. This is Christianity.

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9 things (October 13)

Some beatings take longer to recover from. Beatings accompanied by ill-will administered by those one mistook for friends are the hardest ones.

I know it has been several months since I have written. The day may come when I can talk about it. Today isn’t that day.

I was looking for 4 gallon water jugs for my dispenser. They were not in their usual spot at Sam’s. I checked several other aisles. I found an employee and asked her. She said, “Did you check the furniture aisle?” I said, “Yes.” She said, “Did you happen to notice if there were any there?” I gawped. Paused. I think she understood what she just asked. It will come to her in the middle of the night when the movie of her life runs through her head.

I sympathize with her. I often speak before I think. Maybe I want to be just as surprised as you are at what comes out of my mouth. I don’t know where I read that, but I felt it deeply.

The beatings mentioned above are even harder to recover from when they were administered for the sole purpose of hurting you.

They reviled Jesus by calling him scornfully a “friend of sinners”. We should ask ourselves how he conducted himself around sinners to keep getting invited to their feasts.

Normalize going a whole day without telling someone what you think is wrong with them.

How did we get here? How did the church devolve into this? We are suspicious of compassion, of joy, of rejoicing, of laughter, of love, of empathy, of tears, of emotions…the only thing we aren’t suspicious of is the false doctrine that takes away our humanity and the possibility of redemption. We’ve turned into cold slaves, offering our heartless service to an angry God, trying to convince him to get off our backs by rebuking everyone around us. It isn’t working.

When we think that the blessing of God is connected to how well other people are keeping the law, we become heartless, cruel, suspicious, restless, angry and vindictive. Maybe we should strive to be known as the friends of sinners, rather than the inquisitors of sinners.

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9 things (catching up and thinking about followership)

I am very thankful to God for warm and rich fellowship with many sisters in Christ. I have no biological sisters, but many warm friendships online, and in real life.

The Oregon Coast is beautiful and I’m glad that we were able to spend some time away. I got pretty sick two days into my trip, so I didn’t get to recreate as much as I wanted to – but I got a lot of reading in.

I have heard my whole life that the reason God called Deborah to lead was that the men had all failed to step up. This is found nowhere in the text. But if we assume that it is true, the practical outcome was identical: If the men listened to her, they would live. If they rebelled against her they would die. Whatever God’s motive was for raising her up makes no difference in the outcome. What was important was not her gender, but whether she spoke God’s word.

The highlight of my trip was when a young child pointed at me and said, “Hey, look at the old man!” It must have been my hat…

While breakfasting in Medford, I glanced through the “Frankfurt declaration”. I decided to pen my own Medford Declaration: “I the undersigned will continue to be unaffected by the opinions of cult leaders and heterodox celebrity preachers”.

And back to Deborah – CS Lewis has a marvelous segment in “Prince Caspian.” Lucy, the youngest of the four children, sees Aslan who tells her to follow him and tell the others. The others can’t see him, but he tells her to follow anyway. They reluctantly follow her, and eventually they can see Aslan leading her. It seems to me that neither age nor gender are nearly as important as whom one is following.

One blessing in illness is the time to read. “The Call to Follow; Hearing Jesus in a Culture obsessed with Leadership” by Richard Langer and Joanne J. Jung is worth every penny and every minute. I’ll post a review on Amazon shortly.

August is bittersweet for me. The memories come up on my social media. It was in August that my wife had a surgery that left her in severe pain for years to follow. It was an incredibly difficult time. It was also in August that my youngest daughter spent weeks in the hospital hovering between life and death. The scars remain with both. August leaves scars that only Jesus can heal.

Next week, I will again be sitting in the hospital with my daughter and she goes through more tests. There is nowhere that is a better training ground for patience than at the bedside of a loved one. You wait regardless. You can do it patiently; or you can do it impatiently. But you will wait. Sometimes for years.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

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9 things on grieving

Some grief you carry in community. The worst grief you carry alone.

You grieve the relationship that should have been. The missing people in your life that you can’t talk about. The loved ones that were taken away because of great evil. The loved ones taken away by death, illness or broken relationship.

You grieve the loss of community and the things that you know that no one would believe even if you told them. You grieve the fear and the terror and the unfulfilled longing to be known and the terror of rejection and pain if you are known.

You grieve not being able to tell anyone of what is really going on because you still are grieving from the fallout of the last time you spoke.

You grieve the damage that unimaginable evil can do that you can’t speak out loud because you would sound like a paranoid nut job if you did. You grieve the appearance of evil that sunk into your soul and took away your safe place to stand that you can’t tell anyone because the fear of rejection is greater than your desire to be known. So you carry it alone. There is a heaviness attached to seeing the worst side of humanity.

You grieve the innocence that you lost; the child you never were. You grieve lost health, lost opportunities, lost youth, lost children, lost friendships, lost gardens, lost fellowship.

You grieve the loss of the place where you thought you stood, when the ground finally shakes and everything falls and nothing is left except Christ and His Cross.

And you grieve for that little boy that you once were, the one that you hate, the one that fills you with disgust and shame –  and the hardest thing to do is to grieve for him and to realize that maybe he was just trying to do the best he knew how and maybe you should give him a break because no one else would …

And you grieve the life that you thought you would have but the curse on the world got in the way, and you realize that “godliness with contentment is great gain” is the hardest concept to embrace when your soul is screaming – and then, you bow your head and worship. “Yet not my will, but thine be done.” I know. I truly know that the day will come when all of these tears will be washed away. How I long for that day.

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