Lord, I’m disappointed.
You know how hard I’ve worked. That offering didn’t grow itself, you know.
I really wanted to try those apples when they first got ripe, but I gave them to you.
You should have been grateful.
That corn was so good. You know that was a new hybrid. I worked really hard on that. But I didn’t even get to taste it. I gave it to you.
And I didn’t give a little. I gave a lot.
Apples and grapes; olives and barley; wheat and rye.
The pomegranates were fabulous this year. Large and plump. But I didn’t taste them. And you didn’t even notice.
I keep trying to get your attention and you don’t even notice. You aren’t thankful at all.
Don’t you know that I am something? I’m a big deal around here. I lead the family worship. I give the best of my produce. I know my way around the times and seasons and sacrifices. I’m a strong leader. I know my way around winners and losers.
You should be more thankful, Lord.
I don’t like to complain, but sometimes I get the impression that you just don’t even notice me.
Don’t you know that I am something? The man from Jehovah?
Look at that guy. My idiot brother. Talk about a nobody. He’s so whiny.
He just chases those stupid sheep all day. He’s a nothing, a nobody, a loser.
He won’t take charge. He won’t stand up for himself. He won’t even look people in the eye. He just talks about promises and hope and waiting…
Not me, though. I know that if you want change you have to grab it. You have to take control, you have to be strong, manly, in charge – otherwise they’ll walk all over you.
But that Abel. What a loser. Always serving, always quiet, always waiting for something. He doesn’t even get his wife in line. He keeps talking about love. Doesn’t he know that women need a firm hand now and then?…
Really, Lord? You accepted the loser? Don’t you know that he’s nothing? Don’t you know that he has nothing to offer?
He can’t even use a weapon right. He won’t get his women in line. He won’t stand up for himself.
Everybody knows that he is a weirdo. A loser. An outcast. Vanity of vanities. He couldn’t win a fight if the other guy was already dead.
Weak. Stupid. Foolish. A nobody.
He’ll never make a name for himself. He always does the wrong things. He always says the stupidest things.
Lord, you know that I am better than that guy – but you accept HIS sacrifice and not mine?
It really isn’t fair. As hard as I have worked. It really isn’t fair.
I won’t be in heaven if his sort is there. I’ll build my own city. I’ll build my own kingdom.
No losers allowed. Only winners. Only people like me.
And, Lord, you better get on board. You don’t want people to think that you side with the losers..
You and me. We can do better than this, Lord. I’ll explain the plan to you. If you just follow along, we can take care of the losers and set this kingdom on the right path.
But first, you have to do something about Abel. He really can’t be part of the plan. He’ll mess everything up.
We can’t be successful with his kind of people around. You can ask anyone.
But that’s OK. You can fix this. I’ll be waiting for the answer.
Until then,
Amen.
For the uninitiated, this is a feeble attempt to expose the thinking of the religious one, without faith. It is the thinking of the Pharisee, the seed of the serpent, the idolatrous, the Tower of Babel, and the spirit of Babylon.
Thank you for visiting.
My Only Comfort 
Wow….
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Sounds like everyone on earth.
God often called the weak to do great things. Moses had speech problem, I believe. The point of everything is to give glory to God, not man, even if it is a very very very strong, intelligent, rich and popular man. Religious, legalistic endeavor may attempt to showcase the strength and faithfulness of men but all have failed… Humble reliance on God in faith shows us how great God is even in our weaknesses..
Very cheeky, but very apt. Except for me. Hmmm, there was this one time………
Lines that stood out the most to me:
“Really, Lord? You accepted the loser? Don’t you know that he’s nothing? Don’t you know that he has nothing to offer?”
“I won’t be in heaven if his sort is there. I’ll build my own city. I’ll build my own kingdom.”
“And, Lord, you better get on board. You don’t want people to think that you side with the losers..”
“I’ll explain the plan to you. If you just follow along, we can take care of the losers and set this kingdom on the right path.”
So interesting how it went from “Lord, I’m disappointed.” to “you have to do something about Abel.”
The idea goes: It wrong that I should feel disappointed in You or myself. That is loser-talk. Losers (like Abel) have every right to feel and be disappointed in.
Deal with them as they deserve, and that will deal with what I do not deserve.
It goes from crying out to Him, to commanding Him to make “them” be the ones that end up crying.
I remember watching a show in the 80’s about a young man who had sadly contracted HIV, when not too much was known about the disease. Certainly not known how to properly treat people who were being treated for it. He was brutally sick at one point and he cried out: “It wasn’t supposed to be like this!”
I felt his pain. I felt briefly connected with his suffering. He never imagined his life would become what it became. He did not know how to handle the unimaginable, the unthinkable, the unbelievably unfair turn of events.
I won’t disclose how his character became sick in the first place, because in a nutshell: it shouldn’t matter. But it says something if the first things that come to mind are: what did he do (or NOT do) to have this happen to him? I’ll only feel sorry for him unless it was in no way, shape or form—his fault. He’s not a “loser,” right?
I didn’t keep up with the Star Wars franchise beyond a certain point, But I never forgot a scene in “Attack of the Clones” in which young Anikan manages to find his beloved mother who had been kidnapped, but she sadly dies in his arms.
He is wiping away tears, and says these words: “One day, I will become the greatest Jedi EVER. I will even learn to stop people from dying.”
Anikan, probably without realizing it, was laying down the foundation that would lead him to embrace evil. He might as well as been saying: It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
When you feel so helplessly powerless, it is understandable to crave the kind of power that will ensure that you (or anyone else) never feels that way again.
If you are the first fictional young man, you can channel grief to do what you can to be a blessing in a broken world. By claiming that it needs to be reached out to.
But if you are second one, you can also channel grief to do what you can to break an already broken world. By claiming that it needs to be recreated in your image.
Both can have sincere intentions, but the latter will never end in anything but even more pain and suffering. Not to mention even MORE dying, the very thing you claim you want to stop.