9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. (James 3:9–12.)
We have heard the word “bless” most of our lives. We bless God; God blesses us; we bless one another…
But what does it mean? Is it a ritual, or something more concrete and practical?
In James 3 above, there are a few things that we see.
1. Blessing is something done with the tongue, and it is the opposite of cursing. It is not fitting for the tongue to do both.
2. Blessing is something that brothers and sisters are accustomed to speak concerning God.
3. When one is truly blessing God, it would be consistent for them to also bless human beings made in God’s image. To bless God and to curse men is to live a contradiction.
So let’s put it together. First, what does it mean to bless God?
Read this entire Psalm – but I will copy just the first few verses:
1 Bless the LORD, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
2 Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
3 Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
4 Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
5 Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. Ps 103:1–5.
To bless the Lord is to use one’s tongue to speak of all of the goodness of the Lord. His attributes, his beauty, the beauty of his works and goodness and wisdom of his creation.
This is why it is a contradiction to bless the Lord and to curse something in his creation.
If you have been born again by the Spirit of God, you are becoming more and more like Christ. And James is calling us, his children, to think about what that means about our tongues.
To make is simple, bless your spouse, your children, your family, your neighbors, your co-workers, with your tongue, rather than curse them.
And this is difficult, because our natural speech is to curse with our tongues, as James says.
We tell people what is wrong with them. We tell them everything they have done wrong. We pour shame and contempt. We react with anger. We return curses for curses and a cycle of hatred builds.
But Christ has broken the curse of sin, so now we are to use our new breath and new life to use our words the way that God in Christ used words. He blesses, his words bring life. He speaks the truth in love.
So what does it mean to bless someone.
Speak of what you appreciate about them.
Speak about what you find beautiful and good in them.
Speak about the image of God that lies within and how easy they are to love.
Speak about ways to make burdens lighter.
Be open and accepting and welcoming with your words. Use words to make someone bigger.
Speak in such a way that the chest lifts up, that the face smiles, that they stand a little taller.
In other words, do your words make your neighbor’s burdens easier, or heavier?
Do your words tear down, or build up?
To curse is to speak words of death. To tear down, to deflate, to heap burdens.
To curse is to seek to elevate yourself by tearing another down. To make them feel stupid and useless and unheard.
To curse makes your neighbor lower her eyes, slow their step a little, take the wind out of the sails.
“Let not corrupt communication come from your mouths…”
That rotten, crushing, soul-destroying word that causes a spiritual stench to come out of the mouth – where the tongue is an instrument of death.
It is cursing that is so prevalent on Social media. God hates it.
If we are God’s people, we ought to use our tongues to speak words of peace and joy and beauty to everyone we come into contact with.
My Only Comfort 
“To bless God and to curse men is to live a contradiction.”
“And this is difficult, because our natural speech is to curse with our tongues, as James says.”
“In other words, do your words make your neighbor’s burdens easier, or heavier?”
“To curse is to speak words of death. To tear down, to deflate, to heap burdens.”
I personally have little to no patience for professing Christians who dismiss the what the Bible says about power of words. And I don’t mean that they never say anything wrong, ever. I mean that they don’t even CARE about it one way or another. They are wholly indifferent.
“Proverbs 18:21: Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Deny that, and you deny all the death that you are breathing into the very world you claim to be witnessing to.
If you’ve been verbally reviled and/or abused and/or gossiped about—you know the feeling of carrying around “curses” and “death” and “burdens” in your soul: it never gets any lighter and as the words pile up, you are more and more weighed down. Until you are feel like you are pretty much sinking into your own grave. However, as long as no one can “see” the bruises on your soul, the impact is sadly minimized—even mocked.
But we have no excuse for not taking any of this to heart. We’ve all read the news about kids that took their own lives, rather than endure the hate and humiliation of being bullied at school. Their poor young souls were seeped in unthinkable sufferings, and most likely no one took their cries for help seriously. Words. Do. Hurt.
JUST in case anyone tries to infer that “inspiring but insincere speech” is all right as long as it is isn’t “mean and malicious speech,” think again. The Bible also says: above all, do not lie to one another (Colossians 3:9). Lying is another form of cursing.
We are better at discouraging than encouraging, and that will not change on our own. James says that no one but the Lord is mightier than the tiny tongue. We can tame wild beasts twice our size, but the tongue is the one thing we cannot tame. It is only accustomed to creating spark after spark after spark–and James warns us that just ONE spark can set a whole forest on fire. Worst of all, it is nearly impossible to “take back” those sparks. Once they are spoken, the sparks start to spread, and the damage is very hard to control, much less contain.
This sometimes scares me to the point where I remain silent, out of FEAR of setting off a spark. Or adding to a “fire” that another spark started. Aren’t no words better than bad words?
Not necessarily. The Bible talks about being “slow to speak,” which I think is key. Much of our speech is thoughtlessly spouted, not thoughtfully pondered. But to never speak also means to never speak up for those that cannot—which is one way our speech and actually build up what was torn down. Many is the time when just a few words from ONE person kept me going for just a little longer. It doesn’t take much to be nasty to one another but it also doesn’t take much to nice to one another as well.
Much to take to heart from Sam and yourself, Ann. You both express the truth so we’ll. You’ve helped me see the subject in new ways. Thank you.
I’m new to your blog, Sam, been reading it for the past hour and half. I found it today through Jeff Crippen’s blog as I’m a domestic abuse survivor whose abuser attended church and Sunday School like it was his job! Well, it was, for a fake image. You have a way with words that convict, inspire, and make for good laughter; I need it all. I also come with a thrown off “Gothard teaching” background, where I found myself “scanning” over people to see if they are “one of those kind.” One of your blogs knocked it out of me. It’s good to be free. Thank you.
Please to meet you!
You can also find me at sampowellministries.com