I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope. My soul waits for the Lord More than those who watch for the morning— Yes, more than those who watch for the morning. O Israel, hope in the LORD; For with the LORD there is mercy, And with Him is abundant redemption. And He shall redeem Israel From all his iniquities. (Psalm 130:5-8)
Another thanksgiving, it seems, when we are in mourning. We grieve the loss of so many things, and yet we hear the voice of scripture urging us to rejoice always. Give thanks at all times.
How do you rejoice in the midst of loss and grief?
If there were nothing to long for, nothing to lose, and nothing to love, then there would be no grief. You cannot mourn the loss of loved ones if there were no loved ones.
You cannot mourn unless there is love. And you cannot love unless there is a remnant of beauty in this world.
We mourn because we aren’t home yet. We mourn because we long for beauty, and beauty is so fleeting. We mourn because we loved deeply and that which we loved was taken away.
We mourn because our hearts long for Eden, and right now we are east of Eden, waiting for the Tabernacle of God to descend from heaven.
We mourn because we are waiting through the dark night longing for the morning in the land where there is no night.
We mourn because of death and the curse and saying goodbye. And the reason that these things hurt us so deeply is because we are human, created for something deeper, more beautiful, more lasting, more pure, than that which we see on this earth.
And longing wouldn’t be possible if we weren’t made for something to long for: for love, for goodness, for wisdom and for beauty.
And we have those remnants still in our hearts and long for the day when those longings will finally be filled.
Only the heart that loves deeply can grieve. Cold hearts can see nothing but grey. They refuse to grieve so they refuse to love. They refuse to wait for morning, so the spend their days in eternal dusk, refusing to hope for light.
But the living heart desires, loves, longs – and this means that the living heart also grieves.
Love and beauty are good things, though. Desire and longing point to redemption, when the night passes and day springs eternal.
And that is truly something to be thankful for.
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My Only Comfort 
Thank you, Sam.
“You cannot mourn unless there is love.”
This is the truth.
I was RCUS’d 15 years ago as a young woman and the trauma of the abuse and shunning since then has been enough such that I’ve only been able to start mourning recently. Relatedly, I’m Catholic now (non-modernist), and through developing my love for Mary and compassion for her suffering, I found the guide I needed as a woman to understand my own grief.
It was impossible to mourn until I learned how to be a woman and how to love.
I’ve read your blog off and on for years but never posted before. God bless you, SP.
Thank you for your insight into Mary. As a protestant, I’m always looking for helpful insights from my Catholic sisters.
You’re welcome, @Catherine. God bless.