Husbands, Love Your Wives

Guys, read this carefully a few times:

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. (Eph 5:25-28)

Now notice this: Husbands are to love their wives, taking Christ as their example.

Verse 26 refers to Christ, not the husband. The husband in no way acts as the savior, cleanser, or sanctifier of the wife.

I thought this was obvious until I ran into some extreme patriarchal guys who believed that the husband is the one who is supposed to sanctify his wife just like Jesus sanctifies him.

Nope. Sorry. Not what that says. Read it again.

Christ sanctifies. He alone is the savior of the church, including the wives.

Keep yourselves from idols, people.

Verse 25 – love applies to the husband and to Christ.

Gave himself – refers to Christ as an example of his love.

Verse 26 – all of it refers to Christ alone.

Verse 27 – all of it refers to Christ alone.

Verse 28 – now we are back to husbands.

Scripture never contradicts itself. One thing that scripture is very, very clear on is that there is only one savior and only one redeemer. There is only one who sanctifies and only one who cleanses us a makes us fit for heaven.

And, guys, that One is not you.

I, even I, am the LORD; and beside me there is no saviour. (Isa 43:11)

Thank you for listening.

So let’s talk about “washing with water through the word”, as Paul refers to what Jesus does for his church out of love in Ephesians 5.

I have read countless comments that this means, “The husband is supposed to read the Bible to her.”

Hm. That seems odd. First of all, complete nonsense to a first century Christian in Ephesus. Where would they get a household copy?

Second, if this is what God meant, why didn’t he ever just say, “Husbands, make sure you are leading your family in worship.” But he never does. (I’m not opposed to husbands leading their family in prayer and scripture reading, I just don’t think that reading the Bible is a gender based activity).

So what is Paul’s point? Jesus prayed, “Father sanctify them through the truth. Your word is truth.” John 17:17

Jesus is the Word of God; the Holy Spirit is the Breath of God. They both go together. At the risk of over-simplifying, the work of sanctification (making beautiful, clean, pure) is the work of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The Son is the revelation of God, the Word, made flesh, and this word breathes out the Spirit and regenerates his people.

The Spirit unites the people of God to Christ, making them one flesh, equipping them for service, unifying them as one, until they all grow in the unity of the stature of Christ (Ephesians 4).

Paul certainly did not exalt the work of Christ for 4 1/2 chapters so that he could take away some of the glory of Christ and give it to the male of the species. Not his intention at all.

A human can read the Bible to another human. But only the Triune God can sanctify his bride by the washing of the word.

Why “washing”? This is ancient imagery of the sprinkling of water in the Old Covenant, signifying the pouring out of the Holy Spirit in the New Covenant. Ezekiel describes it in very blunt terms in Chapter 36.

“I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.” Eze 36:25–27.

The washing signifies a new heart which responds a new way to the instructions and teaching of God. It responds with love and affection, rather than fear, guilt and shame. It is accomplished by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, which unites us to the crucified and risen Savior. All the impurities of sin will be finally taken away, as Jesus takes away leprosy with his touch.

Paul is tying the whole epistle together in a grand theme of union in Christ – husbands, love your wives. Yes, that is shameful in your pagan culture of conquest, dominion and power, and yes you will be mocked for it. But remember that Jesus loved HIS bride, including you. He is making you whole and complete and beautiful by his work on the cross, which resulted in the pouring out of his spirit which you received when the word was proclaimed to you. That is LOVE – so love your wives, and so follow the example of Christ.

And yes, this isn’t a gender role. Wives are also called to love their husbands, when Paul writes, Love one another fervently, with a pure heart.

So stop with denigrating Christ in order to sell your books and conferences to impotent and childish men who inflict their wives with their own spiritual immaturity.

Men, if you want to love your wives as Christ loved the church, don’t try to do what only HE can do, but put on an apron and wash her feet, do the dishes, mop the floor.

The lowliest position is what it means to be Christ-like, for both men and women.