Getting the wrong answer

When I was a child, we had a teacher that believed in shaming and hurting children who did poorly on tests. If they missed a certain number of answers, they were called to the front of the class and told to “assume the position” and given a “swat”.

To us, it just seemed like normal childhood. As I grew up I realized how abusive that is.

Then I realized that so many churches, especially churches that should know better, have the same policy.

If you get the answer wrong, you will be “beaten” and shamed. And they will also follow you relentlessly to make sure that the proper beating is administered.

But a church is to be a community of fellowship. Where ideas can be shared without shame and fear, where we trust the power of the Holy Spirit and the blood of Christ. Where we listen to one another, bear with one another, share ideas with one another without fear and examine those ideas in a fellowship of communion and peace.

Far too often, men and women are terrified into silence. Men and women who diverge from the acceptable opinions are tried and found wanting, driven away, insulted, reviled, and shamed. And these acceptable opinions change with the times and whatever political wind happens to be blowing.

This could be why so many in Reformed churches get a “deer in the headlight” look at fellowship time when you ask a question – if they get the answer wrong, they will be ostracized, driven out, figuratively (or literally, if you are a woman in some circles) beaten.

There were pastors in my denomination that beat children who didn’t memorize the catechism correctly.

The catechism must be recited word for word. The acceptable answers grow continually each day and you had better know what the answer is.

I even wrote a series of the kinds of unspoken questions that you are expected to answer correctly, but I deleted them. I’m still afraid of the beating. (I know – childhood trauma raising its head).

And through it all, the unspoken doctrine was this: Jesus hates people who get the answers wrong.

And then one day I saw something astounding. Jesus’ disciples got the answers wrong a LOT. And he loved them, washed their feet, and loved them to the end.

And he patiently led them, taught them, bore with them, and commanded them to do the same.

And in 1 Corinthians 12, he reminded all of his disciples that there are many different parts in one body, so that we might learn to love people who answer the questions differently than we might.

It’s been a learning curve for me, and I’ve taken some beatings. But some beatings are worth it. I’ll take a beating for the gospel of peace anytime.