Tag Archives: Christianity

January 23, 2025 · 3:13 pm

Complementarianism and Abuse

In which I come out as fully egalitarian and plead with you. In which I make the case that abuse and complementarianism necessarily go hand in hand. And a plea to men to finally begin to listen to their wives.

I used to consider myself in the complementarian camp. I even attempted to make an argument that women cannot serve as pastors or elders in a church – which I regret. I am now fully egalitarian.

The main reason that I am fully egalitarian is that I do not find any of the scriptures used by complementarianism to subjugate women to be compelling. (If you take this as permission to mansplain to me why I am wrong, save your writing. I’ve heard all the arguments and the exegesis is poor, the hermeneutic is poorer and the scholarship is poorer still.)

Quite simply, the gospel makes no distinction between male and female – neither ontologically, as image-bearers of God, nor in “role”. But that isn’t why I’m posting this.

I’m posting this for the SECOND reason why I am fully egalitarian. Jesus said that you will know false teaching by the fruit. And the fruit of complementarianism is ugly and rotten to the core. A simple glance at the response of the complementarianism to Bishop Budde, or simply listening to what our sisters have endured in complementarian churches is enough to demonstrate the stench of the rotten fruit.

Abuse, degradation, silencing, ridicule, threats, bullying, excommunications and other forms of spiritual and physical abuse have been thoroughly documented in complementarian churches for those who wish to see it.

At this point, I know that there are many of you who will say, “not my church” – and if that is actually the case, I am thankful.

But there is a deeper problem. Before I get there, I want to define complementarianism:

Complementarianism and egalitarianism are theological views on the relationship between men and women, especially in marriage and in ministry. Complementarianism stresses that although men and women are equal in personhood, they are created for different roles. Egalitarianism also agrees that men and women are equal in personhood but holds that there are no gender-based limitations on the roles of men and women (Christianity.com)

If you are complementarian, you need to define what those “roles” are, and that is where it gets sticky. One role is “silence in church.” Complementarians believe that women are forbidden by God to teach or govern in the church.

And then they need to justify that belief. I know, I used to be there myself. Some soft complementarians, like I was, believe that women and men are equally gifted, equally human, but for reasons inscrutable, God has forbidden women from holding office. But, if they are like me, they cannot hold that position for long because it is troublesome. I can only say, “ummm – for reasons…” for so long before I have to abandon that position.

Others come up with reasons for positing different roles using poor exegesis and analytical skills. They say,

“Women are more emotional than men”

“Women are called to stay home and submit to their husbands”

“Women simply cause trouble and if you give them power, they want to take over everything”

“Someone has to be in charge, and God gave that position to men”

“Because men are rational, masculine, god-like, non-emotional – and…reasons”

These are all the arguments I heard growing up. I never accepted any of them. It just took me years to realize that my rejection of those arguments were really a rejection of complementarianism.

So this is my “coming out” if you will.

I ask all of your forgiveness for my previous statements that women cannot hold office in the church. There is nothing either in the scripture or in the confessions of the church that mandate such a position.

But why is it that holding a complementarian position is not only unbiblical, but dangerous to women? Why is the almost universal climate in complementarian churches an unsafe climate for women?

And here is the answer: When a man abuses, degrades, or assaults a woman, he never does it in front of witnesses.

And complementarianism teaches that women are unreliable, untrustworthy and too emotional to witness the truth – at least not to the extent that a MAN can.

Any argument that one uses to keep women out of the pulpit ALSO keeps them out of the discussion as reliable witnesses.

Bishop Budde was rejected, ridiculed and shut down by Denny Burk simply BECAUSE she is a woman, NOT because she was wrong, and this is important for us men to understand.

When a woman seeks to complain that a sermon made her uncomfortable, that she feels unsafe at church, that something about the pastor is off – complementarian husbands generally will listen – if they love their wives – but deep inside there is a place where they will discount her experience because she is emotional, irrational, of just didn’t hear it right. Just as Burk and so many others shut down the Bishop – she is wrong because she is a woman, and women cannot teach men – so also even good men in a complementarian environment tend to shut down their wives. If they listen, then they have been taught by a woman. And everything that they hear in church is that it is WRONG for a woman to teach a man, especially her husband.

My wife went to the hardware store to buy a water heater this week. She did the research and asked the man at the store if he could explain the difference between the 45000 BTU and the 30000 BTU heater. He gaped at her. Patted the machine and said, “This is a WATER HEATER” in his best mansplaining voice.

Expected in a hardware store. An absolute crisis when it happens in the church.

Barak was only given one choice. Listen to the woman or die.

Josiah only had one choice. Listen to Huldah or die.

The wise woman who threw Sheba’s head over the wall saved the city – Joab listened to her.

Abraham was commanded to listen to his wife.

Lydia brought the gospel to Philippi.

The women brought the good news of the gospel to the men.

And we wouldn’t know anything about the virgin birth if we do not hear Mary’s voice.

We wouldn’t have Romans if Phoebe wasn’t a brave, capable godly woman.

Because when it comes down to it, whether the voice is male or female doesn’t matter. Is it true? is the only question that matters.

Brothers, your sisters have been telling you for decades that they are not safe in complementarian churches.

They are telling you that they are not safe in complementarian circles.

They are not safe in the current political climate.

We haven’t listened, and we are being overrun by the chariots of Sisera. Baal worship is filling the temple of God and we have erected our orange idol in the Holy of Holies, because he promised us power.

The state of the evangelical church is dismal. It is buried under the bones of our sisters, as was every temple of Baal.

The victims are clawing at the threshold, dying at our doorsteps but our religion forbids us to hear them, to rescue them, to even listen to them. We would rather die and rot than be “taught by a woman”.

That is the fatal flaw in complementarianism. In order to protect ourselves from the imaginary witch of feminism, we have thrown Jesus outside the church and made it a safe place for the worst sort of scum and villainy. In order to make ourselves “safe” from the opinions and thoughts of women, we threw them out of the Holy Place and into the kitchen and when they tried to be heard over our self-congratulations, we called them “Jezebels” and cast them out completely.

And now the sheep are gone, and only the wolves remain.

The church has become a den of thieves, a safe-haven for criminals.

We were warned. And the women who warned us over and over again were cast out.

So forgive me if you say, “Not all complementarian churches”. If you WERE a danger to women, how would you know when you won’t allow them to speak except to a room full of abusive men who have already decided that women are too emotional, too deceived and too irrational to be believed?

For you men out there who truly love your wives and daughters, please ask them that question and be open to their responses:

When was the first time that they were sexualized at church?

When was the first time they didn’t feel safe in Sunday school?

When was the first time they were dismissed and silenced?

When was the first time they felt as if a man was shunning them as if they were unclean?

And ask them this question – if they were assaulted by a leader in your church, would she go to the pastor or to the other elders for help?

And please listen to her.

If she is not safe at church, it doesn’t matter how “orthodox” they are. You will know them by their fruit.

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

14 Comments

Filed under Abuse, Church, Men and women

Tagged as , , , , ,

January 15, 2025 · 6:49 pm

The end of an era

It’s time for boldness as well as encouragement for the people of God. There are Christians like me all over the world who are grieving. They watch their Savior’s name being dragged through the mud by the worst sort of men – adulterers, liars, abusers, rapists, con-men – and these same men then take the name of God on to their filthy lips for the sake of power. It grieves my heart.

That being said – at the end of every era, By God’s design, wickedness becomes exposed as it grows more powerful and seemingly omnipotent. It is a terrifying time when an age ends.

But in God’s design, the exposure is necessary before judgment. First the exposure, then comes judgment.

Before God’s time, wickedness is restrained, hidden, in shadows and corners and down alleys. Those who have tried to speak are not believed, silenced, ridiculed, shut down – and wickedness grows and becomes more emboldened.

How many spoke up before Luther and died at the stake?

How many spoke in ancient Rome and died in the circuses?

How many were executed by wild beasts and furnaces BEFORE God brought judgment to Nebuchadnezzar?

But then the time of judgment and exposure comes.

The darkness bursts out in all it’s ugliness and hatefulness and power, crushing the soul and leaving the innocent crying out in agony. “Does anyone hear? Does anyone care?” But that is the sign that the end is near.

Follow me – God told Abraham that the iniquity of the Amorites was not yet complete. And we have followed this pattern ever since. Revelation speaks of Armageddon, when the forces of evil are at their most deceptive and most powerful.

And so the ages come and go.

One power is exposed and falls, the next rises and continues until its injustice and wickedness is complete, then it is exposed before all and destroyed by the breath of God, and another kingdom takes its place.

It is always darkest before the dawn.

We are, I believe, at the end of the age. We are in for a bit of darkness, but let’s take a look at it from the throne room of God:

This hatred and fear and contempt will grow worse and worse. The iniquity of American Evangelicalism is not yet complete. It has crushed the enslaved, destroyed humans in the Native genocides, crushed women and children in mines and factories, raped children in the Sunday School rooms and Bible camps, and has turned God’s house into a safe-haven for robbers, adulterers, and thieves.

God has sent prophets, but has not yet come in judgment, because the iniquity is not yet complete. But it is coming.

This facade of religiosity will soon be peeled back and we will be left with unmasked Baal – worship, throwing its victims into the furnaces and ghettos and death camps and will reach the height of its earthly power.

But do not fear. It is as it has always been as we approach the coming Day of the Lord.

God still has angels with swords. He still has the breath of his mouth. And when the time has come, and the evil is fully seen for what it is, it will tumble down in a moment.

Until then, my friends, do not fear.

There will be mouths to feed. Victims to sit with. Refugee families to house and hide. Neighbors to love. People to clothe. Escapees to sit with, and so so many left outside the camp.

Do not mistake what you see in the halls of Power as Christianity. It is not there. You have never found Christ in Christendom. It is a different kingdom with a different master. Jesus said that you will know his disciples by their love.

Look for it. Show it. Shine it out. Don’t be afraid.

Firing squads may come. It will be the organized church and the power-hungry religious leaders that lead the violence. This will not be where Christ’s people are.

Christ’s people will be following him. Outside the camp. On the cross. Taking the lowest place of all. Waiting for resurrection.

Hold on to that, and don’t be discouraged.

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

3 Comments

Filed under Hope, justice

Tagged as , , , , ,

November 29, 2024 · 7:49 am

The risk of love

A misogynist is not one who hates all women. He only hates those women who step out of line. As long as they stay in their place, he might even marry one.

A racist will always say, “I’m not a racist. I had a black friend years ago.” He really only gets angry when BIPOC eat in the wrong restaurants, drive in the wrong neighborhood, jogs through the wrong neighborhood, or are smarter, richer, and more talented than he is.

A transphobe really does hate trans people. Well, not if they dress and act and present themselves as the  “right gender”. But then they wouldn’t be trans, would they? So this one is on them…

A transphobe or a homophobe would insist that they don’t hate the person. They just hate the behavior and can’t appear as if they are condoning it.

So they won’t use the preferred pronouns. If you say, “Hey, maybe we should just love people and use their preferred pronouns” then you better have some blocking in place on your social media, because it is about to get ugly.

I’ve been thinking about these things lately.

And that, of course, leads me to thinking about love.

Other than Hugh Grant or Ricky Gervais, who freely admit it, most people don’t just come out and say “I hate everyone”.

But I have spent way too much time listening to conservative pastors warn about the dangers of loving the wrong sort of people in the wrong sort of way. My father used to say, “Sloppy agape” and chuckle at the cleverness.

And now they write about “toxic empathy” which is actually just empathy but it allows them to remain hardened and stiff-necked towards their neighbor and cover it over with a sheen of religiosity.

There was a belief system that I was nurtured in. Many of us were. Those of use who eventually tried to question it were finally run out.

The system that I am talking about is a culture disguised as Christianity. It is a culture of fear and distrust.

Archie and Edith sang the song of the culture:

Boy, the way Glenn Miller played!
Songs that made the Hit Parade.
Guys like us, we had it made.
Those were the days!
And you knew where you were then.
Girls were girls and men were men.
Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.
Didn’t need no welfare state.
Everybody pulled his weight.
Gee, our old LaSalle ran great.
Those were the days!
source: https://www.lyricsondemand.com/a/archieandedithbunkerlyrics/thosewerethedaysallinthefamilythemelyrics.html

Yes, I’m old enough to have lived through it. I wasn’t allowed to watch the show. It was just liberal tripe. All the adults in my circles believed exactly what Archie Bunker believed and knew that they were being mocked.

But I digress.

The culture is this:

“If we love our neighbor, society will fall apart.”

Therefore, Love in the Bible must mean something different.

My dad would say “Love is the fulfilling of the law” – and what he meant by it was that if you didn’t steal from your neighbor or sleep with his wife, then you have fulfilled the law of love towards your neighbor.

I know I’m going to hear the “not everyone was like this” – and maybe you would be right. If there was someone in my church, my hometown, or my childhood that believed that schools shouldn’t be segregated, homeless people should be clothed and fed and housed, that BIPOC should be able to live peacefully in any neighborhood that they chose and people could love who they chose, they kept those views very quiet, so I never met them.

But here is what I did hear, and some of it I even believed and taught myself, to my shame.

If we love the wrong sort of people the wrong sort of way, things will fall apart completely.

Here’s how it goes:

“If we allow women to sit on committees or vote in congregational meetings, they will want to start leading the church, they will rebel against their husbands and pretty soon it becomes a woman’s club. Look at what happened to the….” (fill in the blank with a church that has women in leadership positions).

“If we have lunch with the effeminate kid (I hate that word so much) then people might think that we are gay and get the wrong idea.”

“If we listen to the kid that was raped in Sunday School, we will harm the ministry’s reputation and might never recover”

“If we let our wives vote, they might vote the opposite of the husband and cancel out his vote and his authority in the home” (These are the people that are being appointed to the cabinet next year, by the way).

“If you give that co-worker a ride to work, people might see you with her and think all sorts of bad ideas”

If you meet alone with a woman, people might think bad things about you. (I’ve written on this before).

“If you give that homeless guy a sandwich, pretty soon they will all keep coming back for more.”

“If you allow the migrant farm workers to fill their water jugs on your property, then pretty soon they will all come to fill their water jugs on your property.”

I have heard every single one of these. They were statements made publicly, for the most part. It was simply a part of our ugly culture.

But the biggest fear of all was satirized by the Bunkers. If we let men dress like women and women start acting like men, then society will go to pot. God will judge us and destroy us. He will send planes into towers and hurricanes into cities. Crops will fail.

An old minister said to me, “God can’t bless America like this” after a Supreme Court decision that he didn’t like.

I asked him if God’s blessing EVER came because we kept the law properly. He went silent after that.

He really believed that the days when blacks were on the plantations, women were disciplined and stayed at home, children were beaten into submission, and nobody aired their laundry in public were better days, worthy of God’s blessing. He really believed that if we could simply get people back into their places again, we could “Make America Great Again”.

If however, we set up a welfare state, women will just keep having babies and more babies just to get higher checks each month and we will go broke. We will have a society based on theft.

If we let black men carry weapons, we are just inciting violence. The second amendment only applies to white men and BIPOC who know their place and stay in their neighborhoods.

If we let trans people read to children, they will make our children prey and turn them gay.

The real problem I think is that Archie Bunker might have to pay a half a penny more in sales tax. Or that he might treat a woman like he is used to treating women and then she turns out to be a man and maybe His predatory habits might end up like “Crying Game” and he might be perceived as being gay.

Love is risky

The Bible never once says that if you love your neighbor, everything will turn out fabulous.

You might love your neighbor and have every homeless man in town knocking at your door for a sandwich.  Love them anyway.

You might appear as if you are condoning sin in the eyes of the Church Lady if you call the trans kid by his preferred pronoun. Do it anyway.

You might have a child that announces that he is gay and going to move in with his boyfriend. Love your gay neighbor anyway.

The migrant workers might learn a trade, start earning more money, maybe even get the job that you really wanted. Love them anyway. Welcome them. Protect the vulnerable.

When you help the child prosecute the pastor for sexual assault, your church might close the doors. Your reputation might be permanently destroyed, and you might never pastor again. Sit with her anyway. Sit on her side of the courthouse.

When you help your abused neighbor file for divorce against her violent and horrible husband, you might be cast out of your community, called horrible names and maybe even run out of your church. Do it anyway.

You might be called a friend of sinners. Love them anyway.

You might be spat on and considered dangerous. Love them anyway.

You might have to try to get away for a few days to avoid the crowds rushing to get some bread and fish. Love them anyway.

And they might actually crucify you – literally or metaphorically. Love them anyway.

Because love is risky.

Loving those who love you back is easy. Everyone does that.

Loving the ones who don’t threaten your place or your nation is easy. Everyone does that.

Loving the ones who wear their hair the right way or wear the right sort of clothes, or vote for the right candidate is easy. Everyone does that.

But that isn’t the love that Jesus calls us to. Jesus calls us to the love that costs. The love that is risky. The love that gives everything away rather than lose the soul.

The love Jesus calls us to is the love that might even end up getting us hurt or killed. We might lose our jobs. We might lose our place and our nation. We might lose our fancy ministries.

Love anyway. Let them talk. Sticks and stones and words hurt and destroy. But love abides forever.

Don’t redefine love to make it no longer risky. When you redefine it like that was it is no longer love. When it sticks to the party line, it is no longer love.

If you love your life, you will lose it.

Over against the Archie Bunker mentality, we need to learn to love more than ever.

The vulnerable population is scared. Love them. Political parties don’t need your love. Your neighbor does.

The future cannot be manipulated. That is the heart of what the Bible calls witchcraft – seeking the formula to force God’s blessing. It only leads to crucifixions and burnings and banishments. And it won’t ever secure the future.

The future is in God’s hand alone. So rather than say, “This is just a slippery slope to ruin…” Try saying this:

God loves me and will never let anyone pluck me out of his hand.

Even if I use a kid’s preferred pronoun. Even if I stand with the abused spouse.

Even if I eat lunch with a gay man. Even if I give a woman a ride home.

Even if I meet with a woman in my office.

Even if the whole church brands me a publican and a sinner.

Even if I pick the wrong candidate to vote for.

Even if I give the homeless man food and a blanket.

And even if my taxes go up so that vulnerable people can also get healthcare. Even if I decry systemic racism and they brand me a communist.

Even if my sales taxes go up a half a penny.

Even if I stand with the oppressed.

God’s got the future. Love is risky. Love anyway.

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

1 Comment

Filed under Love

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

October 3, 2024 · 6:35 am

Do you want to be made well?

This is edited from a few years back. I hope it brings some peace and clarity.

5 And a certain man was there, who had been thirty-eight years in his sickness.
6 When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he had already been a long time in that condition, He said to him, “Do you wish to get well?”
7 The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, but while I am coming, another steps down before me.”
8 Jesus said to him, “Arise, take up your pallet, and walk.” (John. 5:5-8 NAS)

I read this account a day or two ago and it has been on my mind since then. I don’t know if you have had that experience, where something that the Lord says grabs you and you mull it through your mind. “Do you wish to get well?”

What a question! He’d been unable to walk his whole life. Why would Jesus ask that question?

“Do you wish to get well?”

The philosophers and theologians discuss “Do you have free will?” I was trained in the Reformed tradition but the pop version of TULIP popularized by celebrity preachers who seek preeminence has erased the nuance and depth of the question. The question of will has to do with our humanity.

On the one hand, apart from regeneration, the human will is in bondage to misery and death and needs to be freed from that bondage. Luther has masterfully written of this in his classic “The Bondage of the Will”.

On the other hand, humans are gloriously and wondrously made and loved by God who sent his son to conquer death and sin and misery on the Cross. Christ the victor has destroyed the bondage of sin by his person and his work on the cross. When the stone rolled away and the life blood started flowing again in his body, death was conquered and the captives were set free.

But this is a different question than “Does a person have the ability to will and to choose, and is that choice free?”

Without free will, a human is not a human. I decide if I want to marry this woman or that woman. I decide to love or to hate and to destroy. I choose to hurt or I choose to heal, choose to smile or choose to frown. No one coerces me.

It is not my nature, nor is it the will of God, that places my will in bondage. It is sin. Luther masterfully discusses this in his classic “The Bondage of the Will” so I will not belabor that point any further.

But it is the devil who hates the image of God in me. Being in God’s image, I have the ability to choose – I am not a horse or a mule that must be led about by bit and bridle. It is the hardness of sin that makes me like that. Regeneration sets me free. (Think about Psalm 32:9).

9 Do not be as the horse or as the mule which have no understanding, Whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check, (Ps. 32:9 NAS)

Jesus did not come to make me a horse and a mule, to drag me like a robot and force me to behave. He came to give life and healing. He came to restore and redeem me as a human being, in the image of God.

A man like this one, unable to walk, has been severely limited in choices. He couldn’t even decide to get into the water, for he had no one to help him. He had no strength, no friends, no resources.

Which means that he had very few choices.

Jesus didn’t come to put him in further bondage. He came to set him free. The curse that is on the world took away his voice – who would care about the opinions of a poor crippled beggar? And it took away his choice. He was at the mercy of forces outside of his control.

Jesus came to restore to this man far more than simply the ability to walk. He came to restore the image of God that the curse had taken away. He came to give him back his voice and give him back his will.

“Do you wish to get well?”

“You don’t understand, Jesus. I’ve been here a long time. I don’t have anyone to put me in the pool. I can’t get to the water fast enough. Whether I want to or not, I don’t have the strength.”

“Get up and pick up your bed.” And he was healed.

After he was healed, his will was set free. He picked up his bed and he walked.

Of course, he immediately got into trouble with the Pharisees. Abusers hate when the “sinner” has the gall to speak, or to choose, or to make decisions. Their power is over when the bed is picked up. When Jesus heals, the Pharisee loses control.

And the devil never gives up his kingdom easily.

From this point on, the Jews sought to kill Jesus – because he healed on the Sabbath day – the very day that the prisoner was to be set free, according to the scripture.

“Do you want to be well?” Do you want your voice back? Do you want to be light and salt in the ugly and dark and hateful world? Do you want to know the Sabbath rest and be at peace with God and with the world?

Do you want to be free of rage and free of the ugliness that has been binding you to the ground for so long? Do you want to get up and walk?

Are you ready to fly? Do you want to soar above the petty kingdoms of this world and see where Christ is, at the right hand of God? Do you want to be free from sin? Do you want to be well, to be free of covetousness and the love of money that keeps our heads in the trough so we can’t see the sky.

Jesus didn’t come to make you a horse or a donkey. He came to set you free.

This world and the devil have assaulted your body long enough. You have been denigrated and rejected, hated and mocked and scorned. You have had your choice taken away like the ground under a plow (Psalm 129). That is the curse on this world.

But Jesus’s question is for you: Do you want to be made well?

Speak to him. Tell him how powerless you are. Speak the truth to him. Tell him about how you have tried to overcome, but cannot. The water is too far away, and you are too weak. You have no resources. Your will is bound. Your strength is gone. You are helpless and without hope.

Tell him how long it has been.

He didn’t come for those who think they see. He didn’t come for those who think they walk. He didn’t come for the rich or the powerful or the entitled. He didn’t come for the ones on the top.

He came for the hungry, the oppressed, the afflicted, the widow, the orphan. Those that don’t have the strength to get to the water.

He came for those who have had their choice and their voice taken away. And he wants to hear you. He wants you to be the beautiful, strong, wise, and righteous one that he created you to be.

So here’s the question for you: “Do you want to be made well?”

No one who has come to him for mercy and freedom has ever been turned aside. But as a masterful physician delicately and patiently removes a cancer, so Jesus is patient. Directing, guiding, listening and setting us free.

It isn’t the work of a moment, for then we would be as stumps and stones – programmed robots.

It is the work of a lifetime which will be completed only when we see him face to face. And what a glorious day that will be!

So be patient with yourself and with one another. Practice kindness and generosity. You are not going to cure anyone by telling them what their problems are. They are aware of them far more than you are.

The cancer patient needs an excellent surgeon. And the sinner needs a savior.

Show the compassionate Savior, the Great Physician, in everything you do.

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , ,

September 19, 2024 · 5:50 pm

The amazing, astounding, infinite love of God

17…that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height—19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Eph 3:17–19.

Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so. (Anna Bartlett Warner)

There are two ways of thinking about God.

The first way is “transactional”. This is the way of Cain. The way of Esau. This is the error that Israel fell into over and over.

It is the thinking of the slave: “If I do things right, I’ll get what I deserve. If I mess up, I’ll get beaten.”

God hates it, because it is a denial of who he is. It makes him into a petty pagan god, dishing out favors to the right kind of people.

And we read all of scripture through those lenses.

“If only those people had made better choices”, we say to ourselves, “better things would have happened to them.”

We do this because we are terrified of bad things happening to us. And ultimately we only trust ourselves to make the choices to protect ourselves.

We will shelter our kids.

We will build bigger barns.

We will eat right and exercise.

We will make right choices.

There isn’t anything wrong with those, except this – we don’t really trust that God loves us and will take care of us as he has promised. So we need a backup plan. That would be my own strength and ability.

After all, we say, “The only one I can really trust is me”

But this is not the God we serve.

The second way is the way of love, a God who seeks and saves, a redeemer who loves us so much more than we can possibly imagine. It is the way that we can only see when God finds us wandering and alone and scared.

Look at Israel. God delivered Israel from their bondage – but they refused to embrace that love, because it required trust. So they made gods that they thought they could control.

If they had the control, then they could protect themselves from enemies, from hunger, from thirst, from wild animals.

And God said, “I will never leave you or forsake you. I will lead you to quiet waters. Be still, and see the salvation of YHWH.”

But they would not. “What if God doesn’t come through?”

And that same error is made by so many. 

If I mess up, God will curse me. If our country messes up, God will curse it.

We have to get rid of sinners, aliens, lay-abouts, single welfare moms. immoral people. Paul calls this way of thinking “the flesh”, because it is natural to human nature.

We have to work hard and take hard stances…Because deep down they view God as an angry, harsh, taskmaster waiting for us to step out of line so he can gleefully cast us into hell.

Popular celebrity preachers take great joy in talking about how happy God is to rid the earth of people like us.

But the flesh always has the same result”

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Gal 5:19–21.

It is why we continue to read of the immorality and betrayal of the preachers of the flesh. Do better things, and God will bless you.

But there is no power there. There is no power to change the heart in the law. The power of the flesh always results in tyranny and oppression, as Paul attests.

But scripture says this”

16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved (Jn 3:16–17).

I was taught to have contempt for this verse. I heard far more sermons on how God can’t mean “everyone in the world” then I heard about the love of God. That is sad.

But Paul’s prayer for his friends in Ephesus was that they might know the amazing, astounding love of God –  so fierce, so powerful, so unyielding, that it has no conditions, for Jesus paid them all already.

So that we can rest. I mean, truly, truly rest.

We no longer have to live in fear and hate. We no longer have to fear that we might pray wrong, and have God zap us.

We no longer have to fear that we might screw up, and God will say, “See. I told you Sam was no good.”

I have spent too much of my time worried that I might get something wrong. So I memorized the answers I was supposed to have.

I parroted the things I was taught, afraid of stepping out of line.

We were afraid that if we raised our kids wrong, or if they read the wrong books or listened to the wrong music, that they would step out of God’s love.

And we forgot the astounding, amazing, infinite love of God.

Read Paul’s letters. Is it actually possible to think too highly of God’s love?

But you can only see it when you reach rock bottom. You can only see it when you are afraid, fleeing, lonely, broken, sinful.

Until then, you think that you deserved God’s love somehow. Unlike those gay fellers. Or those Haitians. Or those women. Or those hippies.

Sure, God can love them too – but only if they cut their hair, learn our ways, learn our language, quit being gay…

And if they don’t, then God will gleefully rid the earth of them so that people like me can  live without being bothered by the likes of them.

If you think this through carefully, you will finally understand the rage of Cain and what caused him to kill Abel. How can God accept that guy?

Or the rage of the Pharisees against Jesus. “How can Messiah eat with those loose women? those tax collectors?”

And then you say, “But Jesus didn’t leave them that way. He changed them… he confronted them”

But the truth is that Jesus loved them before the foundation of the world. His love made them lovers, and he sought his bride and is bringing her home.

It was not the law that made them lovers. It was love. Finally someone who got them, who listened, who loved them as they were, who heard everything about them and still loved them.

“We love him, because he first loved us”.”

And we will always, always, always feel ourselves unworthy of that love. We will always feel that we don’t deserve it. That we didn’t earn it, that we aren’t good enough.

And that is the nature of love. All of that is true.

He didn’t say, “If you do the right things, I will show you my love.”

He says “I came to seek and to save that which was lost.”

That’s you.

That’s me.

And he has found us. And every day he says to his bride (That’s you, if you didn’t get that),

Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the young women. Song of Solomon 2:2

And his bride responds – (again, that is you, if you didn’t get that):

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. Song of Solomon 2:3

Sit in his shade. He is the God of Manna. He provides all that we need, because he loves us, not because we earned it. He is returning us to Eden, with the trees laden with fruit that line both sides of the river of life!

Stop thinking like a slave, and think like a child.

O the deep, deep love of Jesus!

Every day in eternity you will meditate and know and feel the love of Christ and never exhaust it!

He loves us. He delights in us. He takes joy in us. He sings over us. He makes us beautiful because he clothes us in his garments and washes us by his blood and spirit.

And he crowns us with jewels and gold and precious stones, far greater than anything we can imagine.

But, “The bride eyes not her garment, but her dear bridegrooms face. I will not gaze at glory, but on my king of grace.”

This is love. This is the vast, unmeasured, boundless, inexhaustible sea of love.

Don’t turn that into a petty pagan god, issuing crumbs from his stingy fingers as long as we perform right.

Instead, rest in his love.

 

 

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

1 Comment

Filed under Love

Tagged as , , , ,

July 26, 2024 · 7:30 am

Abuse, divorce, denial and authoritarian men

Many years ago, back when I was first beginning to learn and write about the problem of assault in conservative marriages, I was in a conversation with another minister in my denomination.

He thanked me for my study and my work on assault, agreed with me that there was much work that needed to be done and asked what more could be done.

I mentioned that oftentimes the church has a very poor response to accusations of domestic assault and will force the woman back into the marriage over and over again, putting her life and the lives of her children in danger. He made all of the appropriate spiritual humming noises. “Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmmm.” You know how it goes.

I thought I was making progress.

He said, “What about repentance? Can’t an abuser repent?”

I said, “In most cases, repentance is a matter of saying some words, crying some tears, and other manipulative tactics to coerce the victim to put herself back under the power of the abuser. This is why” I continued “I never counsel or even suggest that an abused spouse return to the marriage. I always emphasize their safety above everything else.”

After making more appropriate spiritual humming noises, the minister responded, “We had a case just a few months ago. The wife would come to church year after year. We all knew that she was being abused. She had bruises and wore sunglasses. We could all see it. It went on for about 20 years. Finally she decided she had enough and moved out. We supported her.

“But then he came to the elders, and I’m telling you, Sam, I have never seen anyone as repentant as that guy was. He was really broken up about all his failings. He confessed them all and asked her forgiveness. But her heart was so hard and bitter towards him that she refused to take him back. We finally had to excommunicate her for refusing to forgive.”

I died a little inside. I shared with him that what he described is a typical abuser strategy; that all of them do the exact same thing in order to get what they want.

I even shared with him our confession of faith – that repentance is the dying of the old man and the making alive of the new man. It isn’t words and tears.

There is a sorrow that leads to death. Even if his sorrow was genuine, like Esau’s, it isn’t the same as repentance.

And there is one more thing that is even more crucial than that. Even if it were possible to read the heart and determine that a man IS truly repentant, this does not change the fact that his covenant is broken, and that HE is the one who broke the covenant. She will have damage and triggers for the rest of her life.

She will remember the hymns she tried to sing after he broke her jaw. She will remember the smell of the aftershave when he raped her. She will remember what was cooking when he punched her.

She will remember the words. The mouth that kissed her and spoke sweet nothings to her that now say, “I hate you. You disgust me. You are fat and ugly, no one wants you.”

Those wounds don’t just go away with words.

After this conversation, I realized that we still had a massive amount of work to do. I started it until I finally had to part ways with my denomination.

I found out then that most ministers and elders are actually opposed to abuse. They will speak loftily and spiritually about the horrors of domestic violence…UNTIL it actually takes up space in THEIR congregations.

Then, by far the easiest option is to side with the abuser. It is far easier if she would just be quiet and quit making a fuss. If he would just say sorry and they could go back to everything being normal again.

And this is where we lose most of the officers of the church.

The deplore abuse – BUT

“I know that guy. He isn’t an abuser”

“It wasn’t really abuse. I’ve seen real abuse”

“He was really repentant”

“It wasn’t really abuse; she just pushed his buttons enough and he snapped. Could’ve happened to anyone”

No matter what you say, there is always a reason why what is happening in THEIR congregation isn’t abuse.

We hate abuse. We just never see real abuse…you’ve all heard it.

We just saw it when it made national news.

But this has been going on for decades.

The heart of the problem is here:

Why is it that they believe that a group of white, middle aged, conservative men have absolute infallibility over the lives of women? There can be no error, they are so sure of their infallibility that they will literally put a woman’s life on the line over it.

What on earth is an “ecclesiastical divorce”? If you are in these circles, you’ve heard the term. It is the idea that one must get divorced in the church BEFORE they are allowed to get a legal divorce.

Why do we continually talk about “grounds for divorce” rather than talk about safety and liberty?

Why does the liberty we are given in Christ only apply to men? Are not wives and daughters co-heirs of Christ? Are they not worth protecting?

What gives a small group of men the right to determine what does or does not constitute abuse? Did not Jesus say that even saying “You fool” or “Raca” is abusive and the equivalent of murder? (he was not sin-leveling, but that is a different subject)

One step further:

Where is this woman now to go? She has been branded an “adulteress”. She has been expelled from her friends and her faith. She most like will never set foot in a similar congregation again, or ANY congregation. If you have not gone through a public “church trial” you have no idea what it does to you.

She was abused by her husband and found safety. She was abused by her church, and finally found safety.

And now, the same people that demanded that she return to her husband are also demanding that she return to church and “stop disobeying God”.

Do you think that these things might be related?

Jesus has his people everywhere. He knows his own, he gathers his own together.

But maybe those who belong to Christ need to flee for a time. Maybe they will gather in homes or caves or coffee shops or online. Maybe God meets with them two or three at a time, binding up wounds, releasing the prisoner, healing the sick and bringing justice to the outliers.

And maybe the church needs to repent just as surely as the abusive husband needs to repent.

Something to think about, anyway.

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

4 Comments

Filed under Abuse, Marriage, Repentance

Tagged as , , , ,

July 18, 2024 · 3:26 pm

Dressing with dignity

I am almost finished with a remarkable book, the Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse. It was published in 1991, which made me sad and a little defeated. If people have been saying this for over 30 years now, why are things worse and not better? And what can my voice add?

Anyway – like all great books, it gets one’s mind whirling and meditating. The authors have a passage on Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead that stopped me in my tracks. I’ve been meditating on it ever since.

38 Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39 “Take away the stone,” he said.
“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”
40 Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”
41 So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”
43 When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.
Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), Jn 11:38–44.

The first question that the authors ask of the text is this: “Why didn’t Jesus use his almighty power to roll away the stone himself?”

And the second, “And why didn’t he just bring Lazarus OUT of his graveclothes himself?”

The answer to these questions speak of something very important in the life of the Church (not the outward corporation that has gotten so corrupt, but the people of God wherever they are found – usually in exile and hiding). In Ephesians 1:31, the people of God are called the “fullness” of Christ. The Son of God considers himself incomplete without his bride, his body, his people. We are so united to Jesus that his death is ours, his resurrection is ours, and his glory is ours. This is the point of Ephesians.

It also answers the questions so many people have about the Psalms. Are they about David, Jesus, or the people of God? And the answer is “Yes”. David was the type. Jesus was the reality. And we all, as his members, experience the same things in this life and the life to come. We suffer. We rise. We are glorified. We reign. We go to the abyss. We are rescued from the abyss. We long for God. We were born for another world. We are sinners. We are righteous. We are loved. We grieve our sins. We feel abandoned. We feel God’s love.

And we wait for the salvation of God. These realities are ours, and also belong to Jesus. And also to David in shadows.

But I digress.

Do you remember in Genesis where it was promised that the seed of the woman would crush the head of the serpent? We know that ultimately that crushing belongs to Jesus. But it also belongs to us, his bride.

20 The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.  Rom. 16:20.

Here is another example of our union with Christ our head (the head of our body, not our CEO – those are different concepts). He crushes Satan’s head on the cross. We crush Satan’s head taking up that same cross.

But I’m digressing again.

Jesus gives his people the astounding privilege of serving with him in his kingdom. He could, of course, have simply rolled away the stone. But he commissions his people to take their part in setting Lazarus free.

Only the Eternal, begotten Son of God can raise the dead. We can’t do that. But we CAN roll away the stone. We can remove the barriers. We can take away our own blinders, our prejudices, our hatreds and grudges – we can make sure that when the world stumbles, it is on the cross, not politics or laws or culture or gender wars or ANYTHING other that the voice of the Son of God who speaks and raises the dead.

Take away the stone and set the prisoners free.

And yes, they are still in their grave clothes. They are gross and they stink. We are all wrapped with the rags of all of those things that were our comfort in the tomb.

When you are dead, (using spiritual language) you still have the clothing of the dead. That clothing has brought your comfort. You thought that it would take away your shame and your disgrace. You thought that you could find significance, security and strength – and you hold really tightly to all of those things. It is terrifying to think of losing your graveclothes (still speaking in metaphor, people).

Before the voice of Jesus called you and made you alive, you tried to find dignity in the brokenness of this present evil age, and it wasn’t there. But it is even scarier to let those things go.

Remember C.S. Lewis in the “Voyage of the Dawn Treader” when he “undresses” the dragon skin off of Eustice? Eustice recounts that losing his skin was the most painful thing he could imagine, but that it also felt good watching it tear away like a scab.

This is what it is like to lose the grave clothes. And it is even worse when those called out of the tomb are ridiculed for their clothes. Shamed because of it. Excluded and disgraced because they didn’t get rid of them fast enough.

And how shameful it is when those called by God to “loose him and let him go” just stand by and say to themselves “I thank God I am not like that poor guy.”

The scribes and the Pharisees stood by and watched, then plotted to kill Jesus.

And when Lazarus and Abel and Jacob and Amos and Zechariah and Zacchaeus and Mary Magdalene and Bathsheba and Ruth and Junia and all the rest are called from the tomb, there will always be the scoffers, refusing to soil their hands helping a terrified loved one of Jesus remove their graveclothes.

But that brings me to the concept in the book that floored me. When Jesus rose from the dead, he left his grave clothes behind. He could have done the same thing with Lazarus. So why didn’t he?

Because Lazarus would have had to walk out of the tomb exposed and naked in front of everyone.

Wow.

By telling his people to “loose him and let him go”, he is preserving Lazarus’s dignity. The people of God can get him changed without exposing him to the ridicule and shame of the passersby, and that is huge.

Shame has never changed a soul. Reviling and disgracing anyone has never saved anyone. Jesus came that we might have life, and to restore the dignity with which we were created – human beings, image-bearers of God.

Men and women, slave and free, rich and poor – clothed with Christ, the grave clothes come off easily. But it still hurts. It still is terrifying. It is still a long process.

We need compassion and the people of God need that compassion – the same compassion that Jesus had when HE was stripped naked and crucified so that We might be clothed.

 

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

1 Comment

Filed under Church, Gospel

Tagged as , , , , ,

February 25, 2024 · 2:49 pm

The man’s man, who pisseth against the wall

It’s a curious expression. I was brought up on the King James Version and I remember giggling to myself whenever the old and venerable preacher would read it.

I would have gotten the tar knocked out of me if I said it. But if it is in the King James, it must be godly, right?

As I got older, I realized that there wasn’t any other English translation that uses that phrase.

Then when I studied Hebrew, I realized that the King James literally translates the Hebrew there. The Word of God does indeed say, “Every man that pisses against the wall.”

I started thinking about this a week or so back. Someone shared a clip of a southern preacher bemoaning the “lack of real men”. He said that the problem in America is that men pee sitting down, unlike what the Bible says. The Bible says that real men piss against the wall.

He was serious, by the way, and there are more problems with that exegesis than can be mentioned in this blog.

But it illustrates a serious problem in the way that the modern bearded dude-bro thinks. There is a worship of manly men. An obsession with authority. A lust for manly power. Pulpits mostly focus on men being men, and many careers have been made with the shaming of “effeminate men” who pee sitting down, and manly men who piss against the wall like men are supposed to.

You all know who I am talking about. A sermon shaming effeminate men and extolling manly men will go viral, if done well. And the manly man is equated with godliness, strength, courage, and power.

The horrible sermon about “pissing against the wall” was simply pandering to the spirit of the evangelical age of Trump, I’m afraid.

But here is the problem.

“Pisseth against the wall” is used 6 times in the Old Testament – all of them in the Age of the Kings.

And each time it is used, it is used as a promise of destruction.

David said that if Abigail hadn’t intervened, not one of Nabal’s men would have been left alive. All who pisseth against the wall would have been destroyed.

And then the curse on the house of Ahab – not one of Ahab would be left. Not one who “pisseth against the wall”.

If you think about it, the preacher was right about one thing. The man who “pisseth against the wall” is the manly man. He is outside the city, protecting the perimeter. He is with the soldiers. He isn’t inside on the couches and with the women. He is outside, pissing against the wall of the city, or the fortress, or the tower.

He is Nimrod, the mighty hunter. Esau, the hairy man of the field.
He is the mighty men of David. The soldiers.

And every time they are mentioned in the scripture, the term is used as a mark of contempt. You mighty men who piss against the wall, so proud of your manly strength. Not one of you will be left when the Lord finished his work.

Your armies can’t protect you. Your strength can’t protect you. Your authority and power can’t protect you.

A careful reading of the prophets shows a very important theme: Woe to all who put their trust in armies, strength, weapons, horses – or in the modern age – guns, tanks, politics, police, armies, patriarchs, men who pee standing up.

This is not where the kingdom of God is. Never has been. Never will be.

Where you find the spirit of God is where you find love and joy, peace and longsuffering.

I mourn when I see the established church lust after war and death. I hate seeing the people of God crying out for blood.

That is not what Christianity is. The kingdom is not advanced by armies and death and destruction.

God takes no pleasure in the legs of a man.

Like any other gift, the gift of strength can and has been used for God’s glory. God uses men of war for many different reasons, and many honorable men and women have served in the armed forces. That isn’t what this is about.

What this is about is trust. The problem with the “manly man” theology in the pews is that it drives the soul from Christ.

It makes us think that with strong resolve and will power, with strength and determination, we can overcome any obstacles and defeat any enemy.

And the bible calls this “pride”. We think that sin is something that can be overcome by strength of will. We think that the armies of evil can be destroyed by manliness and courage. We think that the problem in the country are those “other people”. When I was a kid, it was the hippies. Now, apparently, it is people who pee sitting down. How he got that information is beyond my imagination. But it all boils down to pride.  And God hates it.

God resists the proud.

But he gives strength to the humble. The humble one, in Biblical thought, is the one who is afflicted, without any resources, without any strength, without any hope.’ In the ancient Hebrew, the word for “humble” can also be translated, oppressed, afflicted, crushed, poor, or desperate.

It is the opposite of the one receiving a major award and saying “I’m so humbled by this award….”

Rather, it is the one with leprosy, cast out of the city without a cure.

It is the one who is destitute, begging for scraps at the temple.

It is the woman who reaches out to touch the hem of the garment.

It is the child stripped and dragged away as a captive.

It is the old man crushed under the wagon wheels.

It is the blind beggar that is shouting, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” 

It is the rich ruler whose dearly loved daughter is about to die. He is destitute and his money and position can do nothing.

In other words, the one that God resists is the one who boastfully pisseth against the wall, spits on the ground, says to himself “At least I don’t pee sitting down”.

That has nothing to do with Christ. He didn’t come for those who have strength. When we were without strength, Christ died for the ungodly.

Those who pee sitting down because their legs don’t work.

The one who is so overcome with his sin and misery that he can only cry out, “Lord have mercy”.

Remember the cry of the desperate? “Whoever will call upon the name of the Lord will be saved.”

This is the gospel. The church was called to give that message. To teach who Jesus is so that the desperate know who to call out to.

Whosoever calls on the name of Jesus will be saved.

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

11 Comments

Filed under Gospel, Men and women

Tagged as , , , , ,

October 27, 2022 · 4:10 pm

“Christianity has a masculine feel…”

Thus spake John Piper, the wise. It makes me sad. There is a new religion that has entered through the American revivalists over the decades, and it isn’t Christianity. It is a religion of power, authority, money, influence and control. Its ugly babies are abuse, rape, violence, racism, and oppression.

This “religion” has a “masculine feel” – which is now defined as Christians taking dominion, conquering wives, controlling children, taking over counties, states, and eventually countries. (I believe that masculinity is a gift of God that can be used for much good, but that is another subject.)

It snuck in stealthily and some of us didn’t really wake up to it recently. And many, like me, have asked since “What happened to Christianity? How did it turn in to power and politics and hatred and blustering. How did it turn into abuse and oppression and coverup? How did the dynamic of authority and submission come to take the place of the gospel? What happened to the good news that the church was commissioned to proclaim?”

How could we have gotten it so wrong? Many have written on it and have done well. Most of them have been cast out of their churches, received death threats and suffered all sorts of abuse. All that does is prove the validity of the question. “When did Christianity turn into something so unlike itself?”

This is a blog. It isn’t a book. It is a short commentary designed to encourage thought. So I would like to simply modify Piper’s statement to something a little more Biblical, and leave it at that. If you like, you can compare these statements to Piper’s statement and determine for yourself, if you are willing to do so. Perhaps the answer to the question, “How did we get here?” might spring up in your mind.

Instead of saying, “Christianity has a masculine feel”, look at these nine more biblical alternatives:

“Christianity has a lover’s embrace feel” (Song of Songs)

“Christianity has a mothering hen and sheltering chicks feel” (Matthew 23:37)

“Christianity has a begging widow feel” (Luke 18:1-8)

“Christianity has a dying beggar feel” (Luke 16:20-21)

“Christianity has a babies and nursing infants feel” (Matthew 11:25; Matthew 21:16)

“Christianity has a big, warm, lying in each other’s arms feel” (Luke 15:20; John 13:23)

“Christianity has a desperate, helpless sinner feel” (Luke 18:13)

“Christianity has a hopeless prisoner, outcast, despised, mourning, fringe kind of feel” (Isaiah 61:1-3; Luke 4:18-19).

“Christianity has a safe, belonging, peaceful, nourishing, apron-wearing, serving one another kind of feel” (so, so, so many passages John 13; Romans 8; Revelation 20-21; Isaiah 2; Zephaniah 3)

There are probably many more, and the difference is crucial. There are those who have power, who are masculine in every cultural sense of the word; there are those who are in charge, who have money, who sit on thrones, who rule their houses, who have resources, time, authority and status…

But that isn’t Christianity. If you have those things, you must consider them all to be dung, be willing to give them all away, learn to wear an apron, become as a nursing child or begging widow, or you are, quite honestly, not worthy of Christ’s name. Nor are you worthy to use any of the power that God has given you until you first learn to lay it aside and take up an apron.

But on the other hand, those on the fringes, those who are unclean, those who are weak, beggars, cast-aways, despised, hated, thirsty, longing for love and for embrace and for belonging and safety, Jesus is speaking to YOU.

“Come unto me, and I will give you rest.”

Not “and I will teach you to be manly”

Not “and I will teach you how to have power over people”

Not “and I will teach you what you have to do to earn favor with God”

But “I will give you rest.”

I have heard that according to Babylonian mythology, the gods created humans because they needed workers.

God did not create us because he needed workers in his kingdom. He created us to rest in his bosom. He created us free to create, to plant, to reap, to sing, to dance, to rejoice in the love of the Holy Trinity, into which we have been sweetly drawn in by the power of the Holy Spirit.

When we turn it into a “masculine feel” of conquest, authority, power, control, we always end up in some truly ugly places.

Stop the idolatry of Babel, resurrected as Christian nationalism. Learn to rest in the bosom of the shepherd.

James 3:17–18 (NKJV)
17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.
18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

That can only happen when we learn how to rest in God’s love and stop trying to control everyone or make them our servants. Learn to wear the apron. Learn to rest in the embrace. Long for the lover’s voice. This is Christianity.

14 Comments

Filed under 9 things, Church, Faith

Tagged as , , ,