Tag Archives: family

June 19, 2025 · 3:34 pm

On Getting Old

I don’t understand what happened. Yesterday, I was doing the Bird with Morris Day and the Time and all of the sudden I got old.

Thank you all for the birthday greetings. I truly love my birthday because of the greetings. There are some that I am like “Hey, they haven’t unfriended me yet!” and that makes me smile a little.

And then a lot of new faces. I love my new friends, my new community. I feel safe for the first time. I love my new church family. I can’t describe to you what it feels like to be safe to grow, to examine theology, to have deep thoughts without fear.

I never had that. Ridicule or anger from my father, or contempt, plotting and hatred from those who vowed to partner with me in ministry. Safety is a new feeling – psychological safety to question, to wonder, to learn and to grow.

And meeting new friends! It is so wonderful to see things from new perspectives and meet people from new backgrounds. I am beginning to understand the holy, catholic church in new ways, and it is truly liberating.

But now I get tired when I do the Bird and my joints ache.

My memories collide with my shame and all of the things I tried to use to hide behind.

I figured that if I acted a certain way, maybe then I can hide from the faces of people and try to pretend that their judgment doesn’t bother me. Maybe then my family of origin would welcome me into their circle. I got so tired of being on the outside wondering what it was like to be acceptable.

But that just dug the hole deeper and deeper

And I am so glad to be learning to be free from the shame of my existence. I won’t go back. I’m tired of hiding who I am.

I have anxiety. I am not at all sure of myself in most situations. I spend a lot of time wondering about things.

Today I wondered what would happen if I tried to play a digeridoo at my cat. My cat did not approve, but it was pretty funny.

I know, this is not appropriate behavior for a man over sixty.

Sigh.

I don’t want to be elderly. I want to listen to 21 pilots with my grandkids, smile at all the ways they want to make the world a little better. I want new legislation, I want everyone to be able to access healthcare; I want everyone in my community to be able to eat healthy food if they want to. And I want them to be able to afford cake and ice cream if they want to.

I don’t ever want to fall into the trap of saying, “Back when I was a kid, things we a ton better” – because they weren’t.

Abuse was rampant, racism wasn’t even hidden, women couldn’t buy houses or have credit cards, and if you had nothing, you starved outside.

I thank God for all of those who had the courage to say “Enough” – And I want to always have that courage. The courage to look at the world and say, “NO. I’m not happy with how we turned out. I’m not happy with our kids being addicted to drugs and violence and porn and alcohol. I’m NOT happy with turning our backs on people with disabilities. I’m not happy with unequal pay and gender bias. I am not happy when LGBTQ kids are kicked out of homes and schools and workplaces. We can do better.”

I’m old. But I’m not dead. And I’m not deceived into thinking that “we had it made back in our day.”

We are better than this. To my kids, I am so ashamed that my generation left you with this. Be better.

As for me, I still love to learn. I still love new ideas. I love listening to Taylor Swift’s new albums and don’t ever think that back in my day we had real music. Get real. We had “Abracadbra. I want to reach out and grab ya.”

Every generation had things that were horrible, and things that we good. Hold fast to the good. Throw out the horrible.

Throw out the racism, misogyny, lust for power and control. Throw out Reaganomics. It’s a bust and a lie. Throw out the garbage you inherited.

Learn to love and to laugh and to stand up to masked thugs.

Let’s have a few more years on this earth.

But seriously, thanks for the Birthday greeting.
I feel like I’ve had to put up with myself for over 60 years now, so I’m going to need some pie.

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November 25, 2020 · 11:25 am

Born of the flesh…

Before Christ came into the world, God promised that the seed of the woman, which was to come through Abraham, Judah, David, and so on – would redeem the world.

For this reason, the genealogies were so, so important and the scripture is full of them. God would fulfil his promise, and the genealogies were given to trace God’s working through history as he brings forth the promised seed.

Until Christ. After Christ, there are no more genealogies.

What the Jews missed is the same thing that the modern patriarchalists miss – salvation isn’t in the family after the flesh. All that we inherit from the flesh is the corruption of Adam. All that we inherited from our fathers is the corruption of Adam.

Jesus corrected this way of thinking when he said to Nicodemus, “That which is born of the flesh is flesh…you must be born again.”

Nicodemus, like every good Pharisee, looked for salvation in the genealogy, rather than in the promised seed. But our earthly families mean nothing if we are not born again. Not even Abraham’s physical seed would inherit anything if they were not engrafted into Christ (Romans 11)

This is why Jesus said that unless we hate our fathers and our mothers and our earthly families, and our own lives we cannot see the kingdom of God.

It is true that many of us “inherited” the covenant of grace by the teaching of godly fathers, but this did not come through the flesh, but through the promise of the Spirit (Romans 9) – but that is another story.

As Christians, on the one hand we appreciate and strive for strong, godly families. But too often, we look for salvation there rather than in the seed. We repeat the same error as the Pharisees of old. We are not saved because of our physical descent. That which is born of the flesh is flesh. God calls his people from every family – the traditional one, the untraditional one. Single mothers, single fathers, divorced parents – to show us that he will have mercy on whom he will have mercy.

When the modern patriarchalists speak of the father as the priest of the home, they deliberately forget that fathers have not been priests since the book of Exodus. The priesthood was given to Aaron and his sons and from that point, no father EVER sacrificed for his family in a manner acceptable to God. God, by the process of revelation, pointed to only ONE priest, and only one acceptable sacrifice – Jesus Christ.

Our whole salvation consists of this: we are taken OUT of our families according to the flesh and engrafted into Christ’s “family tree” by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 3-4) and thus we are children of Abraham.

This is not to deny the 5th commandment. As children, we heed all their good instruction and correction, as the Heidelberg Catechism puts is. And as parents, we are to raise them in the Lord, not according to the flesh. Our boast is not in our family tree, but in Christ alone.

Sometimes we hear “As the family goes, so goes the church. As the church goes, there goes the world. But this is a misunderstanding of scripture. Righteousness will never come by the law, even the good laws. This is simply works righteousness, and we fall for it because who doesn’t want a happy family. But the teaching points us to the law, not to Christ. If the family performs right, the church will perform right and then society will perform right.

This is no different, in effect, then Islam, Mormonism, Judaism, or any other ism.

This is a big topic, but one I’ve been mulling over lately.

It is why Jesus was born of a virgin. Salvation is in the promise, not in the flesh.

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