A Godly Abuser? Really?

I recently read this comment on “A Cry for Justice“:

You would be amazed at how many pastors in thriving ministries abuse their wives, are involved in pornography or other sexual sins. Men of God are not perfect.


I continue to be astounded at these kinds of things. A “godly pastor who abuses his wife” is a lot like saying “a reprobate Christian” a “square circle”, or “waterless water”. It makes no sense.

Since Christians are the salt of the earth, it is no wonder that words have become meaningless in our society. Postmodernism isn’t just something that “others” believe. It started right in the church! If this statement is true: “a godly minister who abuses his wife” , then words have no meaning. If a man can self-identify as a Christian even though he has all the marks of the devil, then how can we protest if a man wants to self-identify as a woman? Isn’t it the same thing?

But if we want to uphold reality, we have to say, “No; you are a man. You have all the parts of a man, and your self-identity is false.”

Don’t we then also have to say, “No. You are not a godly man. You are not a Christian. You have all the parts of a son of Belial. Your self-identity is false”

The bible says that a reviler and a drunkard will not inherit eternal life.

10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. (1Co 6:10 KJV)

It can’t say it any clearer. You can be one or the other. Christians inherit eternal life. Revilers do not. Therefore, revilers are not Christians. Pretty simple syllogism. If you revile your wife and kids, if you drink and hit your wife and children, if you sexually abuse human beings made in God’s image YOU ARE NOT A CHRISTIAN! Flee from the wrath to come. Do not be deceived. The wrath of God is coming because of these exact things!

The same evil exists in these statements:
“He’s working on his marriage.”
“He’s trying to change.”

Ugh. Why are these statements acceptable? Would we use them with a murderer?

“He’s working on not killing people.”

“He’s working on not raping and pillaging.”

“He’s working on not robbing liquor stores and gunpoint.”
I once knew of a man who was confronted by his church for his adulterous relationship and he said, “Can I taper off?” Why is this any different. You don’t “work on not abusing your wife!” I can’t believe I have to even write that!!!!!

The fact is this: You are either a Christian or you are not. You are either a child of the devil or a child of God. You don’t “work on it”. You either are or not!

In the words of Yoda, “There is no try. Do. Or do not.” (I can’t believe I just quoted Yoda. How sad is it that Yoda is wiser than so many church leaders!)

Please remember this. Jesus came to give you rest. You should be safe and at rest at home and in the church. If you are not, please flee and join with the people of God.


Filed under Abuse, Repentance

16 responses to “A Godly Abuser? Really?

  1. Sam, I am one who deals with this sort of thing every day in the work I do. People HATE me for speaking the Truths you have written here. I have been told so often, “You are unempathic. You are heartless. You are so legalistic. Don’t you care how they ‘feeeel’. You are pharisaical.” I’ve become used to it – but not immune. The remnant who yearns for faith-filled obedience to God appears to be diminishing in this deceived, post-modern world.


    • Shy1

      Are we diminishing or are we just finding out how bad it has always been, now that the internet has given a voice to the silenced? I am struggling to understand which it is.

      • Very good point. I think it is some combination of both. The diminishment of the remnant and of Truth seem to be occurring together. They always have, of course, but there does seem to be a kind of quickening. What do you think? S/G

  2. annagracewood

    Reblogged this on Tamar weeps.

  3. Tee3

    This is so true. I’m married to a pastor who is a narcissist. I”ve told people that if they want to see the devil, they should put a hidden camera in our house. I finally fled three days ago. I’m so glad I did.

  4. Wow is “godly” in the same sentence as those sins? SMH. Good post.

  5. CP

    You have no idea how validating (rare) and helpful your writings are/have been. Thank you. So grateful you are back to writing.

  6. Thank you Sam, this is spot on.
    Some how many “c”hurch leaders have exchanged the True Grace of God with excusing, and accepting those who are practicing sin, as they claim to be “working on, or struggling” with it.
    This seems to be another form of sloppy grace, at the expence of the suffering.

  7. Susan

    Oh this. So much this!!! Thank you for writing this.

  8. Pingback: A Godly Abuser? Really? — a reblog from MyOnlyComfort by Ps Sam Powell | A Cry For Justice

  9. Pingback: A Godly Abuser? Really? | ibdiva0821

  10. I really appreciate your forthright sense-making! Thank you.

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