with a heavy heart

My heart is heavy today. I feel so helpless.

Wickedness is everywhere. Those with power use that power to ridicule, abuse and silence the sheep. And they get away with it over and over again.

The most unspeakable atrocities are inflicted on the weak in our very churches by the very people who are supposed to encourage, strengthen and lift up.

And when ones speaks out, they are ridiculed, cut off, outcast.

The wealthy and powerful ministers, leaders, husbands and pastors use that power to feed themselves and trample the sheep. They crush the spirit of their wives and children and believe that they do God service.

And the sheep are forced to silence out of fear. If the powerful wicked inflict such terror when they are at ease and dwelling safely, what will they do when their power is threatened by the truth.

It is terrifying, and my heart is heavy. And it is very, very personal.

And everyone says, “It isn’t that bad. People are basically good.”

No, they aren’t. Their only thoughts are only evil continually, unless the Lord intervene.

“Good people with guns protect the weak.” No, they don’t.

“Strong patriarchs protect wives and daughters.” Please. When did they do that? I must have missed it. Never have they ever, ever. Read your bibles again about the “strong patriarchs.” Which ones protected their wives and daughters again?

“The church needs more manly men” – please. I’ve seen what that kind does. I’ll pass.

The quokka throws its babies at predators in order to protect themselves. The powerful ones do the same thing with their sheep, their wives, their children. Sacrifice the weak. The ministry must be upheld!

My heart is very heavy, as I’ve said.

Some days, the imprecatory Psalms resonate deeply.

This one, in particular, is a great comfort to my soul.

Psalm 12:1–8 (NIV)

      1 Help, LORD, for no one is faithful anymore;
          those who are loyal have vanished from the human race.
       2 Everyone lies to their neighbor;
          they flatter with their lips
          but harbor deception in their hearts.

      3 May the LORD silence all flattering lips
          and every boastful tongue—
       4 those who say,
          “By our tongues we will prevail;
          our own lips will defend us—who is lord over us?”

      5 “Because the poor are plundered and the needy groan,
          I will now arise,” says the LORD.
          “I will protect them from those who malign them.”
       6 And the words of the LORD are flawless,
          like silver purified in a crucible,
          like gold refined seven times.

      7 You, LORD, will keep the needy safe
          and will protect us forever from the wicked,
       8 who freely strut about
          when what is vile is honored by the human race.

Nothing destroys the heart faster than a “man of God” who uses the name of Christ to plunder the poor and delight in their groaning.

Nothing destroys the church faster than wicked tongues that speak blessing on Sunday morning and destroy and curse behind closed doors.

But the Lord sees. He knows. He WILL protect us from the wicked, whoever they are.

Whatever “ministries” they have built. Whatever flatteries they receive. Whatever “successes” they have had. God sees. He judges. He knows the heart.

When a heart is heavy, it can rest here.

Please, dear Lord, spare us from the manly men. Deliver us from the wolves who dress and act like sheep. Deliver us from the wolves who don’t bother with the ovine clothing, but devour anyway without the mask because the world doesn’t care and the shepherds are cowards. Please deliver us from the celebrity evangelists who bite and devour. Deliver us from evil men with evil motives and black hearts.

Give us instead men and women who look and act like Jesus.

Philippians 2:5–11 (NKJV)

5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.

9 Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Amen. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.


Filed under Christology, Grief, Sin and Grace

4 responses to “with a heavy heart

  1. Bunkababy

    I think 1 Corinthians 5:12-13 Needs to be preached. Not from the pulpit but from the body of Christ. These men have been given over to a depraved mind.

  2. I hear you Pastor Powell. Many have heavy hearts. Sadly, there are many wolves within the church which has brought forth confusion and sin.
    God has graciously provided an online Prayer & Fasting group for me. We commenced April 26th thinking it would last one week. We don’t want to stop so have continued to meet daily for prayer (fasting as we feel led). Next week we will meet three times per week.
    The ‘heavy heart’ which you speak of is what brought us together. We have sensed a great humbleness as we are assured that the Lord hears our prayers.
    God bless you for sharing your heart. You have spoken for many of us. ❤

  3. Anu Riley

    “O Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble and oppressed;
    You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear to hear,
    To vindicate and obtain justice for the fatherless and the oppressed,
    So that man who is of the earth will no longer terrify them.” (Psalm 10:17-18)

    I felt shamed for years for being so scared of people that very clearly WANTED me to be scared. It was chilling yet comforting to read these verses. Apparently the Lord understands that terror is real, and being terrified is real, and those who terrify us are very real.

    They aren’t “monsters” that haunted our very real imaginations, and felt real but were not real at all. I slept with a nightlight for years as a child due to being scared of the dark, but as an adult there is no nightlight that can drive out the darkness I live with on the inside. This is far more true for those who have endured far more than I can ever imagine.

    One thing I noticed in the Word; those that engage in evil believe no one sees, no one knows. They are so hidden that the pain they inflicted will never be exposed. Those that are victimized by evil believe no one sees what they saw, no one cares to know. They too are so hidden that the pain inflicted on them will never be exposed. Worst of all, those that do evil lightly skip along. Worst of all, those to whom evil was done to silently limp away.

    Scroll up and read the words from Psalm 12 that Pastor quoted. If He didn’t see, if He didn’t know everything going on, down to each and every exact detail, there would be need for a verse like this: “I will now arise,” says the LORD.”

    Isaiah 1 is one of the most passionate chapters of the Word: His words such as “Your hands are full of blood!” are enough to send chills down your spine.

    It should be recognized that He is speaking NOT to the “heathen,” the “pagan.” He is speaking to His OWN people, a nation He saved and separated as His own. Accountability is something no one can escape from, consequences do not diminish, nor can they disappear.

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