Tag Archives: 9 things

9 things about Marriage and Divorce in the Bible

1. The Bible was written in the context of a patriarchal culture. But everything that the Bible promises is the obliteration of the patriarchal culture in the kingdom of Christ, where there is no more male or female, rich or poor, bond or free, but all are one body in Christ.

2. The instructions on marriage and divorce in both the Old and the New Testaments were given to protect the weak – particularly the women and children – from the power of the strong. Redemption would only come from Jesus. But the law was designed to give a measure of protection from the worst abuses until Jesus came.

3. The Bible does not say or teach anything like “God hates divorce”.

4. The leaders of the Jews were in the middle of a debate about whether Deuteronomy 24 teaches that a man could kick his wife out for any reason . This is the background behind Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 5 and Matthew 19. It has nothing to do with a woman fleeing an abusive spouse.

5. There is no such thing as either an “ecclesiastical divorce” or a “marriage in the eyes of God”.

6. According to the Bible, if one is married, one is married. If one is divorced, one is divorced. There is no category for perpetual separation. It only breeds confusion. 1 Corinthians 7 is addressing another issue entirely.

7. There are no instructions anywhere about getting the permission of your church leaders before filing for divorce. Apparently this practice only began after the church took over the duties of the magistrate after the fall of Rome. Wherever it came from, there isn’t a whisper of it in the Bible. You don’t have to ask the elders’ permission to marry. You also don’t need their permission to divorce.

8. If you have fled a spouse, filed a divorce, separated from a spouse and are now convicted that your reasoning was indeed sinful, God has washed you completely clean, you have no stigma, no stained garment and no spoiled rose. Christ’s blood is powerful and effective against every stain. Make whatever amends you need to make, right whatever wrongs you need to right, and move on.

9. Any theology that one espouses that makes one the superior of another one of God’s children – no matter what language you use – is not from God. You can call it “loving leadership”, or “Covenant headship” or “leadership roles” or right of creation, or anything else you wish – the fact remains. No where, in all of scripture, does a person have a God-given right to rule over the body and soul of another human being. King James called it “The divine right of kings”; White southern Presbyterianism called it the “order of creation” for whites to rule over blacks. And modern theobros call it “gender roles”. It boils down to the same garbage. To be a Christian is to become the slave of all – (Phil. 2), just as Christ did, and love our neighbor, including our spouses, with the same love with which we love ourselves.

 

More to come. If you are in danger, or live with abuse – whether spiritual, physical, emotional, or sexual, please find safety. Please call 1-800-799-SAFE

God redeemed you, body and soul to be free. He did not redeem you to become the target of an angry spouse’s rage. He desires to set you free.

If you would like to talk these things over, please make an appointment with me at www.sampowellministries.com

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9 things about the whole Howerton/Driscoll/debacle

  • To be honest, it wasn’t a stripper. He was a sword swallower and a daredevil. Taking off one’s shirt doesn’t make one a stripper.
  • Just to be clear, just because something arouses Mark Driscoll doesn’t mean that it is Jezebel. It really needs to be said, because the next step is to start burning at the stakes.
  • The sword swallower was the most honest thing about the whole mess. A pox on all the rest.
  • In the whole of scripture, there is no command anywhere about “not saying anything negative about God’s anointed”. In fact, the opposite is true. One who declares himself to be a teacher is to be rebuked before all so that others might fear.
  • Elton John once sang about “tryna find gold in a silver mine, tryna find whiskey in a bottle of wine…” as difficult as both scenarios are, they are nothing compared to trying to find one of “God’s Anointed Ones” at whatever that disgusting display was.
  • A testosterone fueled, ape-chest-beating, grunting display of he-man one-upmanship isn’t Christianity. But it is the logical end result of the evangelical obsession with power, chest thumping and braggadocio.
  • None of it had anything to do with Matthew 18, Christianity, virtue, ethics, Jezebel or manliness.
  • To me, the biggest shame of the whole mess was that there are thousands and thousands of people who think that this is Christianity, give all of these morons a platform and allow them to thrive. I weep for what we have become.

And nine is a big one. So follow me here.

Many years ago, I was a corporate trainer, responsible for training hundreds of people. I went to many, many training conferences and saw many incredibly talented and energetic motivational speakers.

Many of us trainers went back to our companies and started using that material. It was powerful and effective.

But it wasn’t preaching.

The biggest problem with all of these people is that they masquerade as preachers of the gospel. They go to conferences, share material, take notes, learn how to get the laughs, and the amens, and the oohs and aahs. They surround themselves with people who know how to say, “MMM mmm mmm. Meaty. Meaty.”

And when people get bored, they bring out tanks, sword swallowers, guns, bigger lunatics – and even start shouting at each other. All in the name of Christ. They learned from Oral Roberts, Jack van Impe, and Chuck Norris. And they watch the money roll in.

And the thing that flows through my mind is “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.”

Did Christ really redeem a people for himself so that these strutting morons can play “mine is bigger”  and continue to fleece God’s people?

Seriously, wake up. Scripture continues to be fulfilled right in front of us. (This isn’t an “end times prophesy”. Christ could come tomorrow, or in another 2000 years, but the scripture is still being fulfilled:

Woe to them! They have taken the way of Cain; they have rushed for profit into Balaam’s error; they have been destroyed in Korah’s rebellion. These people are blemishes at your love feasts, eating with you without the slightest qualm—shepherds who feed only themselves. They are clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted—twice dead. They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom blackest darkness has been reserved forever. (Jude 11-13)

Next time, I will speak of things that are beautiful, lovely, pure, and wise.

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9 things on my birthday

I am nearing that age when people will begin to describe me as “that eccentric elderly gentleman…” I don’t think I’m up for that yet.

I have no issue with the “eccentric” part. I’ve made peace with that years ago.

This past year has been a whirlwind. Loss, grief and unimaginable blessings, all at once. One year ago, I never heard of Faribault. Now it is my new home and God has opened so many doors.

What was meant for evil against me, God meant for good. Since I have been driven out of my former circles, I have been placed in a unique position to minister and serve those who also have been driven out. The stories of abuse that I am hearing break my heart. So many have had nowhere to turn. So we meet with Jesus outside the camp, where he is. I consider than an honor.

With my new work in kitchen management, I have become more active than I have been in years. My cholesterol and glucose are under control, I’ve lost 15 pounds, and I feel better than I have for years. The first few weeks were brutal, but I’m slowly catching up.

This has nothing to do with my birthday, but it is interesting in light of the national meetings of several huge southern-based churches: These churches have insisted that sexual assault and abuse are “tragic, but there really isn’t anything we can do about it.” But if there is any hint of a woman in a position of authority, they will move heaven and earth to put a stop to it. It seems to me that if they put just a fraction of the effort that they put into keeping women in place into fighting sexual assault and domestic abuse, they might actually accomplish something.

But Jesus did say that you will know them by their fruits. They have exposed themselves by refusing to protect the sheep. It is time for the sheep to meet Jesus outside the camp.

I’ve just discovered a singer from Norway named Aurora. Wow. Scandinavia is producing some wonderful music lately.

And a final note – Isaiah said in Chapter 28 that all the tables of the priests and prophets are covered with vomit and excrement. When you say that Bill Gothard says some pretty good things, even if he is wrong about other things – it is like offering God a great feast, only contaminated with just a LITTLE bit of shit and vomit. How much makes the table inedible? Surprisingly to some, not very much. The leaven of the Pharisees poisons everything.

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9 things for May 31st

We love our new home. God has truly provided for us, and we are very thankful. Our friends have been wonderful and came through for us in so, so many ways.

I’m not sure how I feel about not being a pastor anymore. On the one hand, I have a lot of trauma recovery to do and sometimes I just need a moment to sit and stare. But on the other hand, there aren’t a lot of people who know what the gospel is and it burns in me. I wish I knew how to tell everyone.

But there is no taste for it anymore. People want to hear about how other people are ruining the country, how to live so that you aren’t like other people, and how it would be if our kind of people were in charge. None of that is the gospel. But that doesn’t seem to matter to the church anymore.

When we bought our house, the previous owners left a vintage component stereo system hooked up in the garage. It appears to be from the late 60s or early 70s. It is complete with the huge, plywood encased speakers. The sound is like nothing I have heard for the last 30 years. Fabulous.

I’m tired. I read somewhere that the hardest trauma to recover from is face-to-face irrational hate. This describes so much of what we have endured. Recovery might take some time. I’m not sure where to begin.

But our home is beautiful, and I am surrounded with love. The Shepherd has me in a tight embrace of love. That is a lot and I am confident that there will be healing in our future.

Here is an interesting fact about the city we have moved to: there is a railway bridge over one of the main roads. The clearance is pretty low. The trucks won’t change their route, and the railroad won’t change their bridge. So two or three times a month, a truck gets stuck under the bridge. Reality has a tendency to stubbornly refuse to change based upon the desires or beliefs of truck companies or railroads.

But even when a truck is stuck for pretending that reality is different than it is, the community responds with kindness, and helps wherever they can. There is a lesson there somewhere.

I have gotten myself stuck so many times trying to pretend that reality is different than it is. I am trying not to do that anymore. I am me, and there are certain types of people who will hate me and try to get as many people as they can to hate me as well. But I will still wash feet. Still follow my Shepherd; still love my wife; still proclaim peace to people that you probably don’t like, and still eat with sinners. I am just going to try to not let the hatred of others get to me so much. Life is too short.

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9 things about healthy men

A healthy man is not threatened when his wife is prospering. Rather, he is delighted.

A healthy man is not threatened when his wife has dreams and goals that are not about him.

A healthy man understands that his wife is an image-bearer of God, with gifts and goals and personhood and calling that rightfully belong to her.

A healthy man understands that his wife is not abandoning her personhood when she says, “I do”. She gives up nothing but singleness. She adds companionship and intimacy and love.

A healthy man lives with her with understanding, as a co-heir of eternal life. He does not need to control her, so he seeks to understand her.

A healthy man understands that when his wife is safe and prospering wherever God places her, she adds blessing upon blessing to her home.

A healthy man knows that Jesus is sanctifying and cleansing his wife and doesn’t need another mediator to do it.

A healthy man knows that love and respect, if not freely given, are not love and respect at all.

A healthy man knows that he has much to learn from a wise woman, if he is not too proud to listen.



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9 things (November 3)

Jesus has promised that he is gathering together the outcasts, the afflicted, the exiled and the despised. He is clothing them, cleansing them, and embracing them as family. Some days the longing for that Day is pretty intense.

Under the sun, it sometimes seems as if it is better to be greeted in the marketplace than it is to be an outcast. But Jesus tells us that he has a special care for the outcasts. He knows what one needs to compromise in order to be greeted in the marketplace.

For the last two days, I have seen headlines about a missing verse in the song, “You’re so vain” by Carly Simon. They are trying to convince me to open the headline, with the temptation that this verse might reveal who the song is about. I am having a hard time believing that anyone actually still cares. Of course, I have a hard time believing anyone EVER cared.

I recently read an article mocking what the author called the “victim mentality”. I cannot fathom what certain Christians think they are trying to accomplish by mocking victims of crimes. Sometimes I think that pastors are only concerned with not being bothered. When you mock certain people for having a “victim mentality” all that you are accomplishing in ensuring that your sheep will never, ever speak to you about what is actually on their hearts.

Throughout the world, men, women and children are being cast out of the churches, just as Jesus said they would (John 16:2). Bob Dylan sings, “It’s not dark yet. But it’s getting there”. The wolves are entrenched. The sheep are cast out. But Jesus is working. Nothing is outside of what he has already said would happen. And he is gathering his outcasts together.

Everyone likes to complain about social media. But the Lord is doing something wonderful through it. He is connecting his outcasts together and giving them hope. How beautiful are the feet of those who proclaim good tidings, even when those tidings are proclaimed  in unexpected ways.

Fall has arrived in Northern California. There is a crisp tang in the air. My wife is making fabulous apple crisp. The soup is on and the wine is flowing. Fall speaks peace to the soul, that the God of color, light, sunsets, smells, and tastes is the God who made us, cares for us, and is our Husband. Your maker is your husband (Isaiah 54)! What a thought! The leaves can rest and so can we.

Brahms’ Symphony #4 brings joy in a profound and intense way.

God gives his beloved ones sleep; but he gives it by strengthening our faith – that HE builds the house, protects the city, provides redemption, and calls his people to the Jerusalem which is above. (Psalm 127).

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9 things (October 13)

Some beatings take longer to recover from. Beatings accompanied by ill-will administered by those one mistook for friends are the hardest ones.

I know it has been several months since I have written. The day may come when I can talk about it. Today isn’t that day.

I was looking for 4 gallon water jugs for my dispenser. They were not in their usual spot at Sam’s. I checked several other aisles. I found an employee and asked her. She said, “Did you check the furniture aisle?” I said, “Yes.” She said, “Did you happen to notice if there were any there?” I gawped. Paused. I think she understood what she just asked. It will come to her in the middle of the night when the movie of her life runs through her head.

I sympathize with her. I often speak before I think. Maybe I want to be just as surprised as you are at what comes out of my mouth. I don’t know where I read that, but I felt it deeply.

The beatings mentioned above are even harder to recover from when they were administered for the sole purpose of hurting you.

They reviled Jesus by calling him scornfully a “friend of sinners”. We should ask ourselves how he conducted himself around sinners to keep getting invited to their feasts.

Normalize going a whole day without telling someone what you think is wrong with them.

How did we get here? How did the church devolve into this? We are suspicious of compassion, of joy, of rejoicing, of laughter, of love, of empathy, of tears, of emotions…the only thing we aren’t suspicious of is the false doctrine that takes away our humanity and the possibility of redemption. We’ve turned into cold slaves, offering our heartless service to an angry God, trying to convince him to get off our backs by rebuking everyone around us. It isn’t working.

When we think that the blessing of God is connected to how well other people are keeping the law, we become heartless, cruel, suspicious, restless, angry and vindictive. Maybe we should strive to be known as the friends of sinners, rather than the inquisitors of sinners.

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9 things on grieving

Some grief you carry in community. The worst grief you carry alone.

You grieve the relationship that should have been. The missing people in your life that you can’t talk about. The loved ones that were taken away because of great evil. The loved ones taken away by death, illness or broken relationship.

You grieve the loss of community and the things that you know that no one would believe even if you told them. You grieve the fear and the terror and the unfulfilled longing to be known and the terror of rejection and pain if you are known.

You grieve not being able to tell anyone of what is really going on because you still are grieving from the fallout of the last time you spoke.

You grieve the damage that unimaginable evil can do that you can’t speak out loud because you would sound like a paranoid nut job if you did. You grieve the appearance of evil that sunk into your soul and took away your safe place to stand that you can’t tell anyone because the fear of rejection is greater than your desire to be known. So you carry it alone. There is a heaviness attached to seeing the worst side of humanity.

You grieve the innocence that you lost; the child you never were. You grieve lost health, lost opportunities, lost youth, lost children, lost friendships, lost gardens, lost fellowship.

You grieve the loss of the place where you thought you stood, when the ground finally shakes and everything falls and nothing is left except Christ and His Cross.

And you grieve for that little boy that you once were, the one that you hate, the one that fills you with disgust and shame –  and the hardest thing to do is to grieve for him and to realize that maybe he was just trying to do the best he knew how and maybe you should give him a break because no one else would …

And you grieve the life that you thought you would have but the curse on the world got in the way, and you realize that “godliness with contentment is great gain” is the hardest concept to embrace when your soul is screaming – and then, you bow your head and worship. “Yet not my will, but thine be done.” I know. I truly know that the day will come when all of these tears will be washed away. How I long for that day.

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9 things (August 1)

Today is my youngest daughter’s 24th birthday. A few years back, we almost lost her, so today there is much to celebrate. We had a great day.

I found out today that it is illegal to name your child “Robocop” in Mexico. I don’t have any opinion about that. I am going to practice not having opinions about more things. I find the lack of opinions refreshing sometimes.

A few years back, there were a lot of on-line voices stridently pushing me to get worked up over net-neutrality. I forget if I was to be for it or against it, but I apologized profusely and begged off at the time, stating that I had my plate full with things to get worked up over but as soon as I clear some of those things up, I would throw a right fit – for or against. I don’t remember which. At any rate, I have some time now, but I forgot what I’m supposed to do. So I threw some water on a stray cat.

I will, however, always get worked up over those false shepherds who continually seek to add human merit to our salvation. Jesus is the Author and Finisher of our faith. It is impossible to be united to Christ without bringing fruits of thanksgiving, but that adds nothing to our standing before God.

I will also always get worked up by those who continually stir up discord in the church over their opinions. Reviling, threats, contemptuous speech and pride are as hateful to God as any “sin” you might be railing against.

My grandson is in my Sunday School class. he can’t remember the name “Esau”, but he remembers that his name (and his nickname) means “Red Hair”. So he calls him Red Hair. It’s fabulous. I ask, “How did Jacob steal the blessing?” And he says, “He pretended to be Red Hair”. That makes me quite happy.

Solomon judged between two harlots. One of them would rather destroy the baby than admit she was wrong. Solomon saw through her. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we had the same wisdom. There are those who would destroy souls, churches, and even countries rather than admit that they might be wrong.

When you keep company with those who mock, scoff, and scornfully use those who are “not approved,” you will find yourself caught up in wickedness and eventually unable to extricate yourself. Remember Psalm 1. There is a difference between life and chaff.

Jesus told us that his disciples would be known by their love. No matter how much you try to twist the meaning of “love” to mean “telling people what is wrong with them”, they are not the same concepts. One is of the Holy Spirit. The other is the spirit of the Accuser. The Accuser of the Brethren has been cast out of heaven. Do not be keen to take his place.

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9 things (July 20)

There has been a lot going on in the last month. Illness, traveling, illness…sometimes the desire to sit and rest is overwhelming.

I’ve been thinking about Jesus’ words “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you…” We don’t think about this nearly enough. Which authoritarian husband would genuinely want to be treated the way he treats his wife and family?

My brother Jim helped me record and mix some hymns that I played on the piano. They are now available on most services. I don’t know what I think about that. Mostly anxious, I guess. But I hope that people like them.

“Do unto others…” Maybe think about it next time you revile your server at the restaurant; or talk to your co-worker with contempt and scorn; or dismiss fellow believers as idiots and not worth your time…

I don’t know of any adults that would learn how to be a better human by way of a good beating. I sometimes wonder why we think our kids will learn how to be better humans by way of a good beating…

Diane Langberg once said that the greatest mission field for the church is the traumatized humans in every community. She is correct. The word in the Bible for traumatized (oppressed – anaw) is usually translated “meek”, or “poor” or “humble”. Those are the ones that Jesus came to preach the good news to, according to Isaiah 61:1.

Unfortunately, the traumatized are the ones we most frequently ignore, or even revile, since they generally do not fit our world and life view. Their behavior makes us uncomfortable and their existence threatens our comfort levels.

When I think about “do unto others”, I can’t help but think about how Micah describes the kingdom of God, as “everyone sitting under their own vine and their own fig tree.” It is marked by contentment and peace. There are no busybodies, no one telling you everything you are doing wrong, no enemies, no fear. I want to invite you to sit with me under my vine and under my fig tree in the kingdom and visit you under yours. Isn’t that what the gospel is all about?

Jesus puts to death our sinful inclinations, our fleshly lusts and gives us a clean heart, filling us with his spirit, so that we will finally learn to just sit and rest, praising him forever, resting in his creative work, and saying with him, “Behold! It is very good!” This is the Sabbath of God, and we will rejoice in it.

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