The Dark Places

From a sermon preached at First Reformed Church in Yuba City


John 8:1-12

Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.

2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.

3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,

4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not .

7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.

9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

12 Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

(Jn. 8:1-12 KJV)


In the house of our life we have attic with dark corners. In those dark corners there are boxes that hold our dark things.

One box is called pride. One is lust. One is called fear. There is trauma, guilt, pain, secrets that we hide from even ourselves…all the things we keep carefully hidden.

We keep hidden in our attics those things that cause us shame –  the things we try to get rid of but can’t.

The tears that we shed and then swallow, and bury. The shame that we will never, ever talk about. The feelings of being unwanted, alone – the emptiness of life.

Other boxes are filled with our pet sins. These are the things we don’t want to be rid of: The grudges that we nurse. The lusts that we hide. We keep those grudges carefully hidden and keep the outside of our house clean and smiling. But we keep records. We carry every offense up to the box in our attic and hide it carefully. Then we go up in secret and go through the boxes – reminding ourselves of all the ways that someone hurt us while the hatred grows into murder and rage.


Sometimes those boxes are filled with lusts. CS Lewis speaks of this.

Lust “sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides. And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no real woman can rival. Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover: no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself”

We keep a place in the attic of our minds for our imaginary harem, our grudges, our “if onlys”, our regrets, our desire for pre-eminence, our hurts, our loneliness, our ignorance, our shame and guilt. All of these and more hide in the dark corners. And in the dark, they grow. The darkness creeps about and takes over.

I think that these boxes of dark things are carefully stored away because of our fear of death – when death entered the world it brought a lot of ugliness with it. The ultimate uselessness of life – the insignificance. That in the end, nothing matters. We are only fit for the grave and no one will even remember my name.

But that is unbearable, so we hide away our treasures – those things we think will bring meaning and hope and significance and power and control to our lives. Even if that hope is in fantasy, we carefully store it away. At least we can control our fantasy. At least we can pretend we are powerful, wise, desirable, worthy of love…

But the ugliest box of all is the box of records that we hold on to – all of the proof that we give ourselves that we are really just a little bit better than Abel.

It’s a trophy room of our own accomplishments – those things that we think add up to make us just a little purer, holier, wiser, stronger, smarter, than our neighbor…

It is called pride, and it is the ugliest dark thing of all. Every moment of self-righteousness, every moment of cutting insight, every biting remark, taking someone down to size. I may not be perfect, but at least I am______, and the blank is filled with as many answers as there are people. Nice. Tall. Good (deep down), pretty, wise, handsome, not that guy… And the darkness grows.

It overcomes everything, it overwhelms everything. Eventually, there can be no pretense of light – for darkness devours all – except one thing – the light that God sent into the world.

In the introduction to his gospel, John says this:

4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.

5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

(Jn. 1:4-5 KJV)

Why Jesus has to go

This is a story of darkness and a story of light.

The scribes and Pharisees had already determined that Jesus must die. They had issued a warrant for his arrest.

The problem was this – they believed that if the nation sinned, God would destroy them. God sent them into exile once before because of sin. They didn’t keep the Sabbath. Now, if they wanted to stay in the land and have victory over the Romans, they had to do their part – obey God. Keep the Sabbath. Bring back moral fortitude.

When Messiah comes, he will straighten people out. He will bring back law and order and usher in the kingdom of God, where everyone knows what right and wrong is, and everyone does what they are supposed to do, and everyone is righteous and pure. The foreigners are over there where they belong, and there is morality in the land, just like it is supposed to be…

And now – here is the problem. Jesus is here, and everyone is wondering if he is the messiah. The reason that they are wondering is that he is doing miracles that only the messiah can do. The blind see, the lame walk, the deaf hear, demons are cast out. But he also eats and drinks with sinners. He also “breaks the Sabbath”. If only he validated our desire to be better than the other guy, if only he validated my fig leaves and hiding places, if only he validated my own system of what is right and what is wrong, there would be no problem. But he won’t play along.

This was where their darkness was revealed by the light. If Jesus eats with sinners and he is messiah, then that means that he fellowships with sinners. But that can’t be. Everyone knows that we are the righteous ones. Everyone knows that God only blesses and heals righteous ones. But if Jesus blesses and heals sinners, that means that everything I think I know about righteousness is wrong…

And this, Paul says, is the offense of the cross.

Nothing will make a man angrier than one who takes away the box that proves he is a little better than everyone around him.

In chapter 5, a man is lame. Jesus says, “Take up your bed and walk.”

He picks up his bed. That was when the Jews decided that Jesus needs to go. Because it is the Sabbath day. If Jesus is the Christ, then he blessed and healed someone who had the bad manners to be sick to begin with. Furthermore, he healed a man who was the kind of man who would carry a bed on the sabbath.

If a man who would carry a bed on the Sabbath, and who was sinful enough to be a cripple, could be healed by Messiah – then what is the point of good works at all??

And that would mean that there is nothing that makes me any better than that guy – that beggar, the cripple, that man who works on the sabbath. There are only two options for me. One, change everything I think I know about purity, morality, righteousness. Or 2, get rid of Jesus. Change is intolerable. If I change my view, I have to view myself as needing salvation, as one who needs a savior as much as this adulterer. So Jesus must be destroyed.

And every new thing that Jesus did, they wrapped it up in the paper of their hatred and stored it carefully away in the box in the attic. And they got angrier and angrier.

But the problem was even deeper than that. The Pharisees weren’t allowed to just murder someone. They had the pesky job of proving that the person was in the wrong and deserved to die. And they had to prove it to two groups – Romans, and the common people. The Romans, because they alone had the power of death; and the people, for they could cause problems. If they went after Jesus now the way they wanted to, there would have been rioting. Everyone knew that Jesus was righteous, a healer, a prophet sent from God.

And if they went to Pilate and accused him of breaking the Sabbath, Pilate would ask one question: What did he do on the Sabbath? And there was no way that they wanted to answer that question. To answer that question would be to prove in a Roman Court that Jesus was the Christ. They didn’t even want to go there.

So they needed an opportunity. And now there is one right in front of them: a woman taken in adultery.

Another child lost in the darkness. We don’t know the circumstances. We know that it was the Feast of the Tabernacles – This was a time similar to Mardi Gras – in Jerusalem. It was celebration time and the streets crammed full of people partying. Hundreds of thousands of celebrants from all over.

It would have been a simple matter to find someone committing adultery.

It was perfect. They needed to test Jesus with someone that everyone would despise – and who is despised more than a woman committing adultery…Homewrecker! And every other name one could think of. It is part of our fallen human nature. A man is excused – just carried away by hormones. But a woman! She is a seductress, a Jezebel! Away with her!

She’s the perfect test.

The story

And so they bring her to Jesus. The put on a great front of respect. Master. Rabbi. This woman was taken in the very act!!

They are sure that this will get him. There is no question as to her guilt. They caught her actually at it! The man, of course, is excused. There was wine, she seduced him, blah, blah, blah…

But her! Look at her! Surely you can see how society will fall apart if we allow this sort of thing. We can’t have women walking around naked and seducing men. We can’t have this sort of thing happening or God will certainly destroy us. Surely, Jesus, you can see how important it is that you denounce this immoral behavior, or the demise of our society will be on YOUR HEAD!!

“Moses said she must be stoned. What do you say?”

We got him – they think to themselves. If he says, “Stone her”, we tell Pilate and all the people that he is acting like a king, trying to take the place of Rome as judge, jury and executioner.

If he says, “None of my business” we will say, Look at this pretender. Acting like a teacher, a Rabbi, and he isn’t concerned about the decay of society at all.

If he says, “Be merciful” then we will denounce him to the people. He eats with sinners and adulterers. You know, he is probably sleeping with her himself. You know how these people are. You know, come to think of it – he does have a lot of women following him around everywhere. They even sit at his feet like disciples. Something hinky there…

“So. Rabbi. What do you say”

And he goes right on with what he was doing. He ignores them completely as if he didn’t even hear them.

He gives them an opportunity to think about what they are doing. You are, right now, plotting murder. You are liars, pretending something that is not true. You are planning to destroy this woman, and while you are at it you will deliver me to Pilate for crucifixion…And you DARE think that you are one step above this woman, whom you despise as a sinner?

In the darkness of their hearts, the light is working – exposing their corners, exposing their pride

While the longsuffering of God is waiting, as it did in the days of Noah.

And he keeps writing on the ground. The beat goes on.

And they ask again.

We don’t know how many times they asked. He gave them chance after chance to change direction. But they were set.

If Jesus will not denounce adultery, then everything we think about ourselves is wrong. If adulterers can be saved by God and healed by the Christ, then that means there is no point to my law-keeping. If Abel can be saved, there is no point in striving to be Cain, and that is unacceptable to Pharisees of every age.

And finally Jesus stands up and points his finger right at their dark place – “he who is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone…”

And the light shines.

What happens next is the supernatural power of God. If the light of Jesus Christ did not shine in their dark places, exposing, convicting and rebuking, they would have formed a line with stones. But Jesus’s words have power.

The same God who said, “Let there be light” also shone in the hearts of these wicked men. John says of them:

19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.

(Jn. 3:19-20 KJV)

He speaks. And then stoops back down to write on the ground – letting the light do its work.

And one by one, convicted by conscience, they all begin to slink away.

Until only one is left.

She also has a dark spot. She is a sinner. It seems to be clear that she was indeed caught in the act. Adultery. No excuse. She is exposed before everyone.

What dark places were in her heart? The longing to feel something? Guilt? Shame? Perhaps as a young girl she was attacked, and felt herself no longer pure. Perhaps she figured, “Why not have fun. This is all I’m worth anyway.” Perhaps she had her own trauma and hurt and helplessness. Being helpless and out of control is intolerable to the human spirit. At least, she thinks, I can have my control back.

Or perhaps it was a fear of discovery? Falling in love with the wrong man? Or perhaps she felt as if she had no choice for whatever reason.

Or she just got beguiled. We don’t know. But here is what we know. She was a sinner.

And she stayed. She stayed right there as all of her accusers, one by one, left.

And Jesus looks up and sees her.

Is anyone left?


Neither do I condemn thee. Go and sin no more.

Because sin entered into the world, we love our darkness and fear the light. We have nightmares of being caught naked, unclothed. Exposed to the world.

We nurse our secret sins; bear our grudges.

Bury our trauma, our hurt, our pain. We cry out, like Tamar, “Where will I take my shame?” – and we hear no answer. So we wrap it up, carry it up to the attic and box it. And try to convince it to stay put.

But it doesn’t. Those dark places make us fearful. We don’t trust. We don’t open up. We don’ t love.

We commit adultery, but we can’t love. We cannot protect ourselves from the hurt that others do us, so we put on our happy faces and smile, and keep careful track of our grudges. And then we find ourselves picking up stones to kill and destroy.

The dark places overtake everything until goodness and beauty are gone, and all that is left is pain and isolation, destruction and sorrow.


And we will take comfort in the fact that at least we aren’t adulterers – like this Jezebel here.

At least we aren’t those people. That guy over there needs Jesus just a little bit more than I do.

And then comes Jesus with the light. He shines in our dark places. Right there.

He who is without sin…

  • Adam, where are you?
  • Cain, where is your brother?
  • Abraham, Sarah – leave your country, your safety zone, your refuge and go to a place that I will show you.
  • Abraham, take your son, your only son, the one that you love…
  • Moses, take off your shoes. The ground you are on is holy ground.
  • Samuel, Samuel

We pray for the presence of God. We long for him to smile upon us. To dwell with us. To be near to us. And when God answers that prayer for his presence, the darkness will be exposed. That is what light does, and God is light. All of our pain and hurt, all of our grudges and lusts, all of our sin and shame, will be exposed before the Lord and Judge of all. You have no options. The light will come.

And when that happens, you have only two options:

The first option – you can do what the scribes and Pharisees did: slink away. But that option always ends the same way: with death. With your darkness growing until you find yourself shouting “Crucify him, crucify him” because you cannot bear to look at the darkness of your own heart. But you cannot destroy it. Darkness never stays the same. It consumes everything else. Except the light…

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness does not overwhelm it.

The second option. Stand still and wait before the Lord. Lord, here am I.

Be silent. No excuses, no blame shifting, no denying. Silent. You did it. You were caught in the act. You cannot fool God.

He knows all of the dark places, and either you stand before him naked and exposed or you continue to slink away, continue to sew fig leaves together.

But if you come out of hiding and stand before him, naked and exposed; When you bring to him all of your sins and your lusts and your grudges and your pain and your grief and guilt and shame; you will always hear his voice: “Neither do I condemn thee. Go and sin no more.”

It sounds counter-intuitive, doesn’t it? Our natural reaction is to defend ourselves. Make an excuse. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. Maybe it isn’t so dark. Maybe he didn’t mean it. Maybe I was just tired, or just afraid, or just….

And all of those things that we do to justify it only shut us away farther and farther from the light. The light exposes. Notice this woman. She didn’t say, “Look, here’s the deal. I didn’t mean to. It just happened. I haven’t had a date in a long time, and I just got carried away with the moment…”

Or whatever her story was. She waited silently for the judgment of the Son of Man.

Neither do I condemn thee…

Aren’t you tired of the war?

Isn’t it time to lay down your weapons?

33 Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God’s elect? It is God that justifieth.

34 Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.

(Rom. 8:33-34 KJV)

When you come to the light, there is no room for darkness. When you come to light the shadows flee away. When you come to the light the corners are opened and cleaned and filled with light.

There are no dark places in the temple of God – and you are a living temple, made up of living stones – Jesus Christ, the chief cornerstone.



Filed under Gospel, Light, Repentance

10 responses to “The Dark Places

  1. I’m tired of the shame and guilt, the feeling alone and like I’m not worth the fight. I’m tired of hiding my emotions and feelings and feeling like I’m too much to handle. I’m tired of crying myself to sleep at times and holding in the tears at other times. I’m tired of life. I’m tired of faking it till I make it. I don’t know, sorry. This is one of my favorite bible stories because Jesus’s reaction is totally different than what the religious crowd expected.

  2. Ann

    Christy, you are not alone in that place you describe. I am so very tired myself. What has been difficult for me in reading this is trying to separate out my daily need for tenderness and confession before my Lord regarding my own struggle with darkness and sin and all the mind games and accusations of my abusers that result in fears and despair, These two things seem to tear me in two at times and I KNOW that is not the heart of Jesus either. But I get so easily wiped out by my ready belief that somehow everything that happend WAS my fault- not a godly enough wife, not a humble enough Christian, not a a forgiving enough Forgiven, ect. That comment by Jesus in the story you shared can also be used as a sin leveler and used towards those harmed like a stick to wack down any protests or grief. I know you are aware of this, Sam, because I have read many of your other posts for quite some time now as I try to figure out my faith again and sort through all this. I know this is not what you are referring to here so I’m trying to sift through this the best I can and praying Jesus helps me see Him clearly. It’s just so confusing and draining sometimes…

    • The guilt that we often feel has a basis in reality – we ARE indeed sinners. Satan loves to use that to drive us to despair. The solution is always the gospel. If we believe in Jesus, we are united to him so closely that when God sees us, he sees his dearly loved, firstborn son. We are his bride and his body. THIS is the reality that drives the accuser from the throne-room of God (Zechariah 3; Revelation 12).
      Don’t let Satan win this. It is his greatest weapon, and it is successfully used by many of his children, for they are set on fire from hell itself.
      And I know what you mean by “he who is without sin” being used to shut the mouths of the oppressed. But Jesus certainly did not mean it that way, and he will judge righteously when he comes, for he knows the thoughts and motives of the heart (see Isaiah 11). Beware of those who pit scripture against scripture. It is all one whole work by one Author and has no contradictions. So the same Jesus that said, “He who is without sin…” is the same Jesus that said, “Judge righteous judgment” and also said, “Beware of false prophets”.
      He obviously wants his children to use righteous judgment. His condemnation was against the Pharisees, who were plotting murder and lying about it while pretending a great zeal for the law. Jesus, being the light of the world, exposed them with one statement. We don’t have that ability, but we DO have the wisdom that God gives us to judge righteous judgment.
      Ann, keep seeking. God has promised to be found of them that continually seek after him.

  3. Jennifer Bales

    Well said . Thank you for posting

  4. Sheridan

    Ouch. This was painful in parts to read, but so beautiful, as only the truth can be. So well written.
    Though I also understand other commenters struggles too -I often get attacked with the thought “you are no better than him, you should have showed him more grace, you aren’t being forgiving enough, why do you think his sin is any worse than your own?”
    It’s such a fine line to walk and I feel I could fall off either side at any moment.

  5. Anu Riley

    Thank you for this Pastor. You touched a lot of sensitive areas here, as I can tell by the comments. But in a good way :-). You don’t pour salt in the wounds for sure. You try to offer a healing balm instead.

    Nearly everything you wrote resonated with me. I’ve lived out a lot of it and am still living it out. NO ONE is rid of all their “dark places” on this side of eternity, but that is no excuse to not fight the good fight.

    I’m not what you would call a “pack rat,” but like anyone else I do have a hard time getting rid of things that have no value and I have no real need of them, but for some reason I’m still attached to them. They are just taking up precious space. So why do I have a hard time letting them go?

    I’m sure you can tell, but I’m backing up your “dark places” attic analogy. There are lots of reasons why we have a hard time getting rid of such things. Doing the hard work in sorting it all out is no fun. Shining a light into past your decision making is also hard (when did I buy THIS? Why would I ever have worn THAT?)

    Finding out that you have more excess baggage that you realized means you have a lot more work and heavy lifting ahead of you! This is something I found out. I had way more “clutter” in me than I ever imagined!

    And no, it’s not okay to shove such items under the bed or into a tight corner or in the back of a closet. Out of sight (in this case) does NOT mean out of mind! As long as they are there, they are a part of your life. Stop making room for these things that you need to get rid of.

    And no, It’s NOT okay to say “someday” I’ll get rid of this or that. Or, I “intended” to get rid of all that, but something came up. I put it off. I put it away. I tried to organize it better so it didn’t look so messy. But I refuse to get rid of it. .

    When you DO finally get rid of them, it frees up a lot of space for things that ARE useful. Things that you DO need. Items that are worth the space. Worth making space for. Things like the fruit of the Spirit. Things that will bless you. Things like that will bless others.

    I loved the phrase you used: “trophy room of our own accomplishments.” The things that we hold onto that make us feel significant, or at least better than others. Hey, aren’t THOSE things worth hanging onto? Why get rid of them? Aren’t they indicative of the kind of person I am?

    I can only offer what I believe the Lord is trying to teach me: the most valuable and significant accomplishments of our lives are likely NOT going to be revealed until we see Him again.

    Not that our lives here mean nothing, and that we don’t display the fruit of the Spirit at all. BUT, these are things that you can’t see with the naked eye. And without a doubt, the fullness of who are in Him will not be fully revealed and experienced when we see Him face to face.

    Also, I think a lot of believers don’t want to “broadcast” the good works He does through them (or try very hard not to!). So while they labor hard in the grace He gives them, they are more than willing to wait for His words: well done, good and faithful servant. Those are the words that are worth waiting for, and they don’t want their own pride (or the fickle praises of man) to steal that away from them.

    Your description of why Jesus had to go was brilliant. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it described so succinctly. Christ was about as “Intolerable” as you can imagine, because He challenged our core beliefs like no one else.

    Pastor, are you a Star Trek fan? If so, you’ll understand this: when I offended a group of people who profess Christ, I didn’t understand why. I came to realize that I had violated their “Prime Directive.” I got involved in the way that disturbed and disrupted their manner of living. Their set of beliefs. The way they insisted on functioning, even though it clearly opposed Scripture.

    Oh, and your description of the woman caught in adultery was marvelous. And thank you for pointing out the double standard when it comes to this particular area. But also, at the end, making it clear that she did need to face up to her sin—despite how she got there, it needed to be dealt with.

    I’ve asked myself PLENTY of times regrading my own dark places: how did I get here? Or, if I’m looking at all this excess junk that has piled up: Where did all of this come from?

    It usually doesn’t happen overnight. Darkness (and unnecessary, useless junk!) tends to build up, little by little. Until YOU are the one crowded into a corner, because the darkness has overtaken nearly all the space.

    If you have chosen to come to Christ, hopefully like me you are DONE with living in lies, living with lies, and living a lie, period. And you certainly aren’t interested in MORE lies, because that brings nothing but bondage. And you did NOT cross over from death to life, only to be shackled into a “religious” set of shackles. A lie is a lie is a lie—-religious-sounding or otherwise.

    That is what keeps the Light shining in and through you—that hatred of lies and that love of truth. Darkness is not just all about hiding, it’s also all about lying. There is no truth in the darkness, so there is no freedom, because truth sets us free. Even if the truth is cold, hard and ugly—-it chases off the monsters. It chases off the fear. It chases away the gloom and doom.

    Just a side note: Hiding your pearls from people you don’t trust is NOT living a lie. I’ve been slammed and shamed for being very private about my struggles. But I do everything I can to reveal it all to the Lord—who sees all and knows all. You are under no obligation to trust anyone but Him with your heart, and everything that is in it. He is utterly faithful, and He will not forsake you. That is why He is so safe to be with, and to confide in. Your secrets are safe with Him 🙂

  6. Cathleen

    – comment deleted at poster’s request –

    • Thank you, Cathleen, for reading and commenting.
      I have the names correct. When Cain was born, Eve called him Cain – saying, I have gotten a man from the Lord.
      Cain was something. The heir apparent, the seed of the woman who would crush the head of the serpent – in Eve’s mind.
      Our natural religion is that God is bound to be impressed with our religious services. Cain was the first Pharisee – no faith in the promise, because he didn’t need it. He was something. He was the man from the Lord.

      When Abel was born, Eve called his name Abel – which means vapor, wind, vanity – nothing. He was a nobody. He wasn’t a somebody like Cain. He was the other, he was “whatev’s”
      The only thing he had was the he believed the promise – that God would provide a sacrifice for sins.
      So when Abel was accepted and Cain was rejected, natural order was overturned, Cain’s religion was proven faulty.
      God put Abel over Cain because Abel had something that Cain would never have. The righteousness of Christ imputed to him.
      This is why Cain killed him. This is why the cross is an offense. This is why Jesus was crucified.
      Cain is the Jew of Romans 10 seeking to establish their own righteousness and not accepting the righteousness which is by faith.
      Cain was something, but salvation is only for the nobodies. Only for those who take up their crosses – reckon themselves dead, nobody, poor.
      So I had the names right. I should have explained it better, I guess.
      I explained it the week before in my sermon when I preached on Cain and Abel

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