1. To the extent that men coerce their wives to submit, either by threats or promises of reward, to that extent their marriage is NOT a picture of Christ and his church.
2. Our submission to Christ as Christians is from a willing heart of love.
3. When I was growing up, my mother prepared a dish from ground beef, tomato sauce, macaroni, cans of corn…and then she dumped in whatever leftovers she had in the fridge. She called it “goulash”. I just found out that my friend’s mother did the exact same thing. I was an adult before I learned that goulash was actually a real dish with a real recipe.
4. My daughter has numbers that she favors. “Favors” is the wrong word, because it is beyond that. She cannot eat 10 grapes. She cannot eat 11 grapes. She CAN eat 9 grapes. And so on with any food that can be numbered. Thus, “9 things…”
5. Obedience that comes from a servile heart of fear is not acceptable to God. The fact that is acceptable to many who profess Christ continues to astound me. How can a man desire a wife who is afraid of him?
6. When a partner uses sexual favors to reward good behavior or withholds them to punish bad behavior, the sex life will always suffer. Sex that is exchanged for goods if the heart of harlotry, not Biblical sexuality.
7. Yesterday, I finished “The Extraordinary Life of Sam Hell” by Robert Dugoni. It is one of the best novels I’ve read this year. I’m not sure about the ending, though…I have to mull that one over…
8. I have been thinking about the concept of “Christian Culture.” I guess that I don’t know what that means and who gets to enforce it. Some proclaim the 19th century south as the pinnacle of Christian Culture. I guess it would depend on which side of the whip one was on…
9. Proper social behavior enforced by the elite is not Christianity. Taliban, maybe. But not Christ.
My Only Comfort 
I think about Christian culture a lot. And I don’t have any good thoughts about it. I am pretty convinced what accept as church is pretty wrong.
As always, you explain eloquatly the unholy relationship between sex and fear. I’m grateful to hear the truth spoken, especially by a man. Thank you.
Agree wholeheartedly and especially with the “especially by a man” part.
I literally starting crying when I heard Patrick Stewart passionately proclaim that no man can justify laying a hand on a woman. As a boy he watched his mom get beaten by his dad fairly regularly, so it’s pretty near and dear to his own heart.
I am just not used to hearing men speak like that.
It took me a LONG time to get to read this post! When I read the first one “A Doll’s House” came to mind, Henry Ibsen. I vaguely recall that the wife would do cute little “tricks” with her face (pretend to be like a squirrel or bunny?) so he would laugh and reward her with whatever she was asking for. On the surface, it all seemed so harmless. There was a level of casual comfort that may have been seen as warm, loving and adorable.
That play coined the phrase: the door slam heard around the world, I think? When she left him at the end, the door shut rather loudly, He sincerely did not seem to understand why this was happening.
If I recall, he was “good” to her. Not abusive, not an adulterer. But he just did not “get it” when she left him.
I don’t know if Ibsen believed in the Lord but I have noticed how the secular world sometimes “gets it” more than the spiritual one.
I had to Google “servile” (having or showing an excessive willingness to serve or please others, of or characteristic of a slave or slaves.”) Little more needs to be said; you chose the EXACT right word.
I also know what you are talking about quite well, unfortunately. And you are spot on: it is anything BUT Biblical (in fact, it is undeniably pagan) but is often held up as Biblical. Perfect love and fear cannot co-exist. My goal in life is to live out the reality of His death and resurrection: perfect love driving out and dominating over fear.
“I guess it would depend on which side of the whip one was on…” Nicely said as usual. I find “Christian culture” to be a contradiction? I find “culture” to be rooted in how you were raised (aka your upbringing) Being a Christian has nothing to do with how you were raised, but rather Who is raised from the grave. Not to say that cultural things are wrong and bad. But they tend to be far more consuming than they should be; and being consumed by His love should always matter most.
As usual, love your posts :-).
Thank you! I’m going to have to read (or see) that play. I’ve heard so much about it.