In the desert

I’m reading Henri Nouwen. The part of me that has Reformed Dogmatics running through my blood sometimes recoils, but then I remind myself that the Holy Spirit is greater than Reformed Dogmatics.

Nouwen talks about the Desert Fathers and the beginnings of withdrawal from the world at the beginning of the Christian era.

His insights in the pull of our greed and anger from the love of the world really speaks to me.

Whenever I think of “the love of the world” I hear the voice of a childhood elder teaching our Sunday School classes. Love of the world meant listening to Rock music, wearing jewelry, turning the music up loud, going to the malls and dressing like hippies…

But the love of the world is far more insidious.

I long to be drawn deeper into fellowship with God. I want to know him as he is, which means that I need to know Jesus and his sufferings, temptations, victories. What did it mean to Jesus to withdraw from the world?

When he was led into the wilderness and tested of the devil, there were three temptations. Nouwen got me thinking about them in a different light.

1. Stones to bread – Jesus was tempted with security, safety, significance. If he can turn stones to bread, he will never be hungry again.

But man does not live by bread only. The bread that fills the belly is a poor substitute for the living bread, where Jesus gives us himself.

2. “Throw yourself off the temple”. When the angels charge down, think of the reputation you will get. Just like Moses at the Red Sea. Everyone will listen to you. Everyone will fear you. When you speak, everyone will listen.

“But “You shall not put Jehovah to the test.” We live by his word, not by shows of power. We live by his life and his promises, not by circuses and pomp and the glories of this world.

3. I will give you all these kingdoms”. What could a good man do with unlimited power? What good could he accomplish! No need for a cross, or suffering, or taking the lowest place! What the world needs is a strong leader, not another wimp.

But you can worship power, or you can worship Jehovah. You cannot do both. The Baals of old were cruel taskmasters, but the power was alluring. Unfortunately, that power also takes your children and your children’s children.

“You shall worship the Lord your God”.

And today, we (myself included) continually fall for the same temptations.

If only we had financial security. If only we had a bit more recognition for my accomplishments and worth. If only people would respect my leadership.

We thought that the country could be saved with the power to make laws, but what has increased is not love and joy and kindness. We got the power, but we sold our souls to hatred, greed, envy, sexual assault, rape, murder, blasphemy, heresy, witchcraft and destruction.

We had to worship the wrong God for the power we thought we could do good with, and now we carry the dead corpse of the culture on our backs.

We poured our money into earthly glory. Fountains, and carpets, private jets and large buildings, celebrities and conferences and book deals…and lost our souls.

Maybe we need some time in the desert. In silence. exposing our greed and anger before the God of grace.

Maybe its time we shut ourselves in our closets and grieved our own sins.

It is why I haven’t written much lately. It is why I haven’t done a podcast lately.

Before I can speak, I first need to learn how to be silent.

That’s what repentance is, isn’t it? It is turning away from the significance, glory and power of this world, and facing God naked and silent.

That’s a new one for me.

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The man’s man, who pisseth against the wall

It’s a curious expression. I was brought up on the King James Version and I remember giggling to myself whenever the old and venerable preacher would read it.

I would have gotten the tar knocked out of me if I said it. But if it is in the King James, it must be godly, right?

As I got older, I realized that there wasn’t any other English translation that uses that phrase.

Then when I studied Hebrew, I realized that the King James literally translates the Hebrew there. The Word of God does indeed say, “Every man that pisses against the wall.”

I started thinking about this a week or so back. Someone shared a clip of a southern preacher bemoaning the “lack of real men”. He said that the problem in America is that men pee sitting down, unlike what the Bible says. The Bible says that real men piss against the wall.

He was serious, by the way, and there are more problems with that exegesis than can be mentioned in this blog.

But it illustrates a serious problem in the way that the modern bearded dude-bro thinks. There is a worship of manly men. An obsession with authority. A lust for manly power. Pulpits mostly focus on men being men, and many careers have been made with the shaming of “effeminate men” who pee sitting down, and manly men who piss against the wall like men are supposed to.

You all know who I am talking about. A sermon shaming effeminate men and extolling manly men will go viral, if done well. And the manly man is equated with godliness, strength, courage, and power.

The horrible sermon about “pissing against the wall” was simply pandering to the spirit of the evangelical age of Trump, I’m afraid.

But here is the problem.

“Pisseth against the wall” is used 6 times in the Old Testament – all of them in the Age of the Kings.

And each time it is used, it is used as a promise of destruction.

David said that if Abigail hadn’t intervened, not one of Nabal’s men would have been left alive. All who pisseth against the wall would have been destroyed.

And then the curse on the house of Ahab – not one of Ahab would be left. Not one who “pisseth against the wall”.

If you think about it, the preacher was right about one thing. The man who “pisseth against the wall” is the manly man. He is outside the city, protecting the perimeter. He is with the soldiers. He isn’t inside on the couches and with the women. He is outside, pissing against the wall of the city, or the fortress, or the tower.

He is Nimrod, the mighty hunter. Esau, the hairy man of the field.
He is the mighty men of David. The soldiers.

And every time they are mentioned in the scripture, the term is used as a mark of contempt. You mighty men who piss against the wall, so proud of your manly strength. Not one of you will be left when the Lord finished his work.

Your armies can’t protect you. Your strength can’t protect you. Your authority and power can’t protect you.

A careful reading of the prophets shows a very important theme: Woe to all who put their trust in armies, strength, weapons, horses – or in the modern age – guns, tanks, politics, police, armies, patriarchs, men who pee standing up.

This is not where the kingdom of God is. Never has been. Never will be.

Where you find the spirit of God is where you find love and joy, peace and longsuffering.

I mourn when I see the established church lust after war and death. I hate seeing the people of God crying out for blood.

That is not what Christianity is. The kingdom is not advanced by armies and death and destruction.

God takes no pleasure in the legs of a man.

Like any other gift, the gift of strength can and has been used for God’s glory. God uses men of war for many different reasons, and many honorable men and women have served in the armed forces. That isn’t what this is about.

What this is about is trust. The problem with the “manly man” theology in the pews is that it drives the soul from Christ.

It makes us think that with strong resolve and will power, with strength and determination, we can overcome any obstacles and defeat any enemy.

And the bible calls this “pride”. We think that sin is something that can be overcome by strength of will. We think that the armies of evil can be destroyed by manliness and courage. We think that the problem in the country are those “other people”. When I was a kid, it was the hippies. Now, apparently, it is people who pee sitting down. How he got that information is beyond my imagination. But it all boils down to pride.  And God hates it.

God resists the proud.

But he gives strength to the humble. The humble one, in Biblical thought, is the one who is afflicted, without any resources, without any strength, without any hope.’ In the ancient Hebrew, the word for “humble” can also be translated, oppressed, afflicted, crushed, poor, or desperate.

It is the opposite of the one receiving a major award and saying “I’m so humbled by this award….”

Rather, it is the one with leprosy, cast out of the city without a cure.

It is the one who is destitute, begging for scraps at the temple.

It is the woman who reaches out to touch the hem of the garment.

It is the child stripped and dragged away as a captive.

It is the old man crushed under the wagon wheels.

It is the blind beggar that is shouting, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” 

It is the rich ruler whose dearly loved daughter is about to die. He is destitute and his money and position can do nothing.

In other words, the one that God resists is the one who boastfully pisseth against the wall, spits on the ground, says to himself “At least I don’t pee sitting down”.

That has nothing to do with Christ. He didn’t come for those who have strength. When we were without strength, Christ died for the ungodly.

Those who pee sitting down because their legs don’t work.

The one who is so overcome with his sin and misery that he can only cry out, “Lord have mercy”.

Remember the cry of the desperate? “Whoever will call upon the name of the Lord will be saved.”

This is the gospel. The church was called to give that message. To teach who Jesus is so that the desperate know who to call out to.

Whosoever calls on the name of Jesus will be saved.

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Getting the wrong answer

When I was a child, we had a teacher that believed in shaming and hurting children who did poorly on tests. If they missed a certain number of answers, they were called to the front of the class and told to “assume the position” and given a “swat”.

To us, it just seemed like normal childhood. As I grew up I realized how abusive that is.

Then I realized that so many churches, especially churches that should know better, have the same policy.

If you get the answer wrong, you will be “beaten” and shamed. And they will also follow you relentlessly to make sure that the proper beating is administered.

But a church is to be a community of fellowship. Where ideas can be shared without shame and fear, where we trust the power of the Holy Spirit and the blood of Christ. Where we listen to one another, bear with one another, share ideas with one another without fear and examine those ideas in a fellowship of communion and peace.

Far too often, men and women are terrified into silence. Men and women who diverge from the acceptable opinions are tried and found wanting, driven away, insulted, reviled, and shamed. And these acceptable opinions change with the times and whatever political wind happens to be blowing.

This could be why so many in Reformed churches get a “deer in the headlight” look at fellowship time when you ask a question – if they get the answer wrong, they will be ostracized, driven out, figuratively (or literally, if you are a woman in some circles) beaten.

There were pastors in my denomination that beat children who didn’t memorize the catechism correctly.

The catechism must be recited word for word. The acceptable answers grow continually each day and you had better know what the answer is.

I even wrote a series of the kinds of unspoken questions that you are expected to answer correctly, but I deleted them. I’m still afraid of the beating. (I know – childhood trauma raising its head).

And through it all, the unspoken doctrine was this: Jesus hates people who get the answers wrong.

And then one day I saw something astounding. Jesus’ disciples got the answers wrong a LOT. And he loved them, washed their feet, and loved them to the end.

And he patiently led them, taught them, bore with them, and commanded them to do the same.

And in 1 Corinthians 12, he reminded all of his disciples that there are many different parts in one body, so that we might learn to love people who answer the questions differently than we might.

It’s been a learning curve for me, and I’ve taken some beatings. But some beatings are worth it. I’ll take a beating for the gospel of peace anytime.

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Husbands, Love Your Wives

Guys, read this carefully a few times:

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. (Eph 5:25-28)

Now notice this: Husbands are to love their wives, taking Christ as their example.

Verse 26 refers to Christ, not the husband. The husband in no way acts as the savior, cleanser, or sanctifier of the wife.

I thought this was obvious until I ran into some extreme patriarchal guys who believed that the husband is the one who is supposed to sanctify his wife just like Jesus sanctifies him.

Nope. Sorry. Not what that says. Read it again.

Christ sanctifies. He alone is the savior of the church, including the wives.

Keep yourselves from idols, people.

Verse 25 – love applies to the husband and to Christ.

Gave himself – refers to Christ as an example of his love.

Verse 26 – all of it refers to Christ alone.

Verse 27 – all of it refers to Christ alone.

Verse 28 – now we are back to husbands.

Scripture never contradicts itself. One thing that scripture is very, very clear on is that there is only one savior and only one redeemer. There is only one who sanctifies and only one who cleanses us a makes us fit for heaven.

And, guys, that One is not you.

I, even I, am the LORD; and beside me there is no saviour. (Isa 43:11)

Thank you for listening.

So let’s talk about “washing with water through the word”, as Paul refers to what Jesus does for his church out of love in Ephesians 5.

I have read countless comments that this means, “The husband is supposed to read the Bible to her.”

Hm. That seems odd. First of all, complete nonsense to a first century Christian in Ephesus. Where would they get a household copy?

Second, if this is what God meant, why didn’t he ever just say, “Husbands, make sure you are leading your family in worship.” But he never does. (I’m not opposed to husbands leading their family in prayer and scripture reading, I just don’t think that reading the Bible is a gender based activity).

So what is Paul’s point? Jesus prayed, “Father sanctify them through the truth. Your word is truth.” John 17:17

Jesus is the Word of God; the Holy Spirit is the Breath of God. They both go together. At the risk of over-simplifying, the work of sanctification (making beautiful, clean, pure) is the work of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The Son is the revelation of God, the Word, made flesh, and this word breathes out the Spirit and regenerates his people.

The Spirit unites the people of God to Christ, making them one flesh, equipping them for service, unifying them as one, until they all grow in the unity of the stature of Christ (Ephesians 4).

Paul certainly did not exalt the work of Christ for 4 1/2 chapters so that he could take away some of the glory of Christ and give it to the male of the species. Not his intention at all.

A human can read the Bible to another human. But only the Triune God can sanctify his bride by the washing of the word.

Why “washing”? This is ancient imagery of the sprinkling of water in the Old Covenant, signifying the pouring out of the Holy Spirit in the New Covenant. Ezekiel describes it in very blunt terms in Chapter 36.

“I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.” Eze 36:25–27.

The washing signifies a new heart which responds a new way to the instructions and teaching of God. It responds with love and affection, rather than fear, guilt and shame. It is accomplished by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, which unites us to the crucified and risen Savior. All the impurities of sin will be finally taken away, as Jesus takes away leprosy with his touch.

Paul is tying the whole epistle together in a grand theme of union in Christ – husbands, love your wives. Yes, that is shameful in your pagan culture of conquest, dominion and power, and yes you will be mocked for it. But remember that Jesus loved HIS bride, including you. He is making you whole and complete and beautiful by his work on the cross, which resulted in the pouring out of his spirit which you received when the word was proclaimed to you. That is LOVE – so love your wives, and so follow the example of Christ.

And yes, this isn’t a gender role. Wives are also called to love their husbands, when Paul writes, Love one another fervently, with a pure heart.

So stop with denigrating Christ in order to sell your books and conferences to impotent and childish men who inflict their wives with their own spiritual immaturity.

Men, if you want to love your wives as Christ loved the church, don’t try to do what only HE can do, but put on an apron and wash her feet, do the dishes, mop the floor.

The lowliest position is what it means to be Christ-like, for both men and women.

 

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Masculine and Feminine

“The scripture generally uses the masculine pronoun to refer to God, while at the same time acknowledging that male and female do not apply to him, as he is spirit. Attributes generally associated with the feminine are ascribed to him, such as nurturing, sheltering, mothering, birthing, and nursing, to describe the indescribable and incomprehensible God. And attributes generally associated with masculine are ascribed to him, such as kingship, fatherhood, husband, bridegroom, and so on….”

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Jesus came for the desperate

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9)

This is a familiar verse. But there tends to be some misunderstandings here that I would like to clarify.

Much of the modern teaching goes something like “You must accept Jesus as your savior, but you also must accept him as Lord…”

The idea is that it isn’t enough to “simply believe”, you also have to do what he says and acknowledge him as your Lord.

Although it is certainly true that if we love Jesus we will seek to do those things which please him, and it is certainly true that he, as our creator and redeemer, is our sovereign king and lord, I don’t believe that is what Paul is getting at in this passage.

Here is the whole thing in context:

Moses writes this about the righteousness that is by the law: “The person who does these things will live by them.” But the righteousness that is by faith says: “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will ascend into heaven?’ ” (that is, to bring Christ down) “or ‘Who will descend into the deep?’ ” (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the message concerning faith that we proclaim: If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

Paul compares the message of righteousness by faith to the righteousness which comes by the law. The law is anything that teaches “If you do these things, you will live.”

The law teaches that if you do good things, you will be blessed. If you do bad things, you will be cursed. The law is woven in our being, created in our psyche, unavoidable.

It also leaves us all under the curse, for who can say that they have done enough to earn the blessing of God?

The fact is that if we are aware of our condition, we know we are in trouble. We know that God is just and that we are sinners. Our consciences plague us on our beds late at night. This is the doing of the law, whichever law you believe will give you life.

If you believe that life comes from doing the right thing, you will never rest, never be at peace, and live in fear – either of the judge coming for you, or fear that the others are going to mess up God’s blessing for your community.

So you either live in terror and despair, or you live judging others and calling down fire and brimstone on the sinners.

Paul is not contrasting the “law” with the “law”. The problem is NOT that the Jewish people of Paul’s day got the law wrong. They didn’t just need to substitute the law of Moses for the law of Jesus. Paul’s point is different.

Let’s look at the word “lord”. In the Hebrew Scriptures, we read that God gave his personal name to his people (Exodus 3). That name is unique to the one true God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. It didn’t belong to any other gods, it was the true God’s personal name. It was spelled YHWH. But we forgot how it was pronounced, because centuries before Jesus came into the world, God’s people considered the name too holy to be pronounced.

So whenever they came across that name in their readings, they substituted the Hebrew word “my lord” – adonai. Adonai means my lord, my master, my husband, my sir.

A few centuries before Jesus, scholars in Alexandria translated the Hebrew bible into Greek. It was called the Septuagint (abbreviated LXX). They followed the custom of the Jews, and every time they came across the word “YHWH” they translated it “kyrios”, which is Greek for Lord, mister, sir, owner, or master, just like adonai.

But whenever they came across adonai, they also translated it “Lord”.

When the Bible was translated into English, the translators followed the same pattern, but they used small caps for YHWH and lower case for adonai.

Look, for example, at Psalm 110:

The LORD says to my lord: “Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.”

The first word is the personal name of the One True God, creator and redeemer, maker of all things visible and invisible, who redeemed Israel from Egypt.

The second word is a common title for royalty, husbands, owners, slave-masters, bosses.

Remember here that we are speaking only of the OT scriptures. You can easily tell the difference between YHWH and adonai by the way the translators have spelled it.

But when we come to the New Testament, it is a little different. The inspired writers used “kyrios” for both concepts and the only way to tell which was meant was through the context.

In our familiar passage, is Paul’s point that Jesus is our lord and master to be obeyed (as true as that is), or is his point something else?

If he means what is commonly called “lordship salvation”, then one is hard pressed to find a difference between that and the law of “do this and live”.

But look a bit further down, when Paul quotes the Hebrew scriptures. He quotes Isaiah 28 from the Septuagint, about believing in the heart, and then he quotes Joel 2.

“Whoever will call upon the name of YHWH will be saved”. The difference in the Greek text is hard to spot, but if you look up the quote in Joel it is clear. If you call on the name of YHWH you will be saved (Notice the all-caps of LORD). Paul’s point is that confessing with your mouth is the SAME concept as “Calling upon the name of the YHWH.”

The contrast is between those who seek their salvation through “doing” – “do this and live”, and those who understand their desperate need, and call out in the middle of the storm “Save me, Jesus, YHWH God, creator and sustainer of the universe who conquered death and the power of sin.”

Of course, that cry is when we are lucid. In the middle of the locust storm destroying everything (which is the context of Joel), all we can manage is “hosanna” – “Save us, we beg you”.

And now, here is the point of all of this.

If you, like me, have tried over and over again to live a better life, to love more, to cast off your fears and doubts, to flee the lusts of the flesh, and to do better – you know the agony of the spirit. The person that you long to be and the person that you are seem to be forever separated.

The body of death seems to be winning.

The “lordship salvation” purveyors want you to work harder, feel more guilty, exert more will-power, give more money, get up earlier…

But the Good News is this – Call on the name of Jesus, for he is the creator and sustainer of all, he is the giver of life, eternal and true God, who became flesh and took our grief upon himself, so he knows our pain and struggles. Call upon him. No conditions. Just call.

Jew or Greek, bond or free, male or female…just call. And you will be saved, for his name means “YHWH saves.”

(as a side note, this doctrine is continually under attack, for if Jesus is somehow lesser than YHWH, or a different God, then we are back to attempting to earn salvation by submission, which means that we are back in bondage to fear and misery. It is no coincidence that modern patriarchy and their attempt to keep women in bondage is built on “Eternal subordination.” If even the second person of the eternal trinity is subordinate to YHWH, then he is NOT YHWH (their duplicitous protestations notwithstanding), and salvation is again “do this and live”.  Many of my sisters are living this reality every day. ESS is a monstrous evil, and leads only to bondage).

YHWH is not divided. And Jesus is the One True eternal God, who with the Father and the Spirit is to be worshiped. Call upon him, and be delivered. This is the good news. He delights to hear and delights to save, if only we will call.

 

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Using words to love

From the archives…

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Love to be lusted after…?

One of the reasons that I cannot identify as evangelical is their refusal to acknowledge the full image-bearing nature of women.

For the most part, the complementarian portrayal of the “godly woman” is abusive, silencing the voice of women and taking away their will, quenching the work of the Holy Spirit except through the mediation of men.

It’s horrible.

Perhaps you have heard this: “Men love to lust; women love to be lusted after”.

Sigh…where does one begin?

Sometimes a connection is obvious, sometimes it isn’t. This statement takes the beautifully varied and wonderful personalities of  women and crams them all together into a box, defined by men at their worst: lust. To say that a woman’s desires and dreams are shaped by the worst thing that we see in men turns women into “god-made sex toys” to be defined and used by men.

Ugh. We should probably think about our words.

I would even challenge the first part: “Men love to lust”. Christ-like men don’t, ladies. They struggle with it, they repent, they flee from it because they hate it. And they war against it – not by turning their weapons on the fellow image-bearers, but by prayerfully changing the way that they look at their sisters.

“View younger women as sisters, older women as mothers” Paul wrote. This is what we love and what we desire. Lust is a hated enemy.

But I digress – back to “Women love to be lusted after…”

There is a song from many years ago called “Peek a boo” by Siouxie and the Banshees. She describes the brokenness and hopelessness of a sex worker in blunt and brutal terms. There are women who make a living being “lusted after” by men, but is this the same as saying that they “love to be lusted after”?

It worries me when male pastors say things like this. Instead of seeing the pain and hopelessness of women in a situation like this, it seems to me that they are trying to quiet their consciences by convincing themselves that their own lust isn’t harming anyone, because “women love to be lusted after.”

Sin? maybe they would acknowledge that their lust is sin, but really it isn’t hurting anyone.

I think that it would be better to acknowledge the distinction between what we call “lust” and the pursuit of beauty. These two things are not the same.

Lust is exploitative, abusive, cruel, self-absorbed, demanding, devilish.

It turns our God-given desire for beauty into a consuming desire to possess and destroy that which is beautiful. The devil was a murderer and a liar from the beginning, and this is his best work. To take the created desire for union, intimacy and longing for beauty and turn it into ugly, cruel hatred.

And then to hear a pastor refuse to acknowledge the difference between the two simply crushes and destroys the woman who has been a victim of male lust her whole life.

When you strip away everything from that horrible quote, you are simply left with the rapist saying “But you liked it, didn’t you?”

I died a little inside writing that one.

Women, as image bearers of God, desire beauty. It is how we all were created. Before the fall warped and twisted everything, men and women both were created beautiful and with the longing to be seen and known.

After the fall, men and women both still want to be seen and known and acknowledged as valuable.

Unless they are among the small minority of voluntary sex workers who desire to monetize the lust of men, I have never known a woman who desires to be “lusted after”. They dress the way that they dress for all sorts of reasons: To be accepted by their peers; to fit in; to be acknowledged; to hide themselves; to be recognized as desirable…the reasons are as varied as they are for all image-bearers of God suffering from the alienation and brokenness of the fall.

But please quit saying that women love to be lusted after. It is cruel, hateful and abusive – and above all, it isn’t true.

No woman wants to be the starring show of your sick fantasies. Just sayin…

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Separation? or Divorce? Thoughts concerning Freedom in Christ.

Today there was a debate which reminded me of something…

Those who make an idol of marriage tend to stubbornly refuse to admit that sometimes abuse is so horrible that the spouse must flee from the home in order to protect her own life.

To them, divorce is the worst thing a person can do.
(Cue John Piper’s horrible statement about a wife “perhaps enduring being smacked around for an evening”).

But then it seems as if they grow a bit of a conscience and have a vague feeling of unease. The truth of the brutality of the depths of abuse tend to make us uncomfortable. You start to think that perhaps your tribe or your church or your people are a bit better than other tribes and other people and then the ugly reality of sin rears its head. It sometimes hits you hard upside the head to hear what evil things humans can do to those they profess to love.

And so when you are hit upside the head, but you cannot give up the “God hates divorce” mantra, you come up with something silly like “Sometimes separation is necessary, but divorce is never an option. Separate until he repents and then…” but really does it matter at this point?

So a couple of things.

First, separation is never a viable option in the scripture. You are either divorced or married. If you are married, live in love and respect and mutual honor and dignity. Love one another and put the other one first. When the covenant is broken and the situation has become treacherous, it is better to divorce than to live in hatred (See Malachi 2). For God would have us free, rather than in bondage to misery, death and hatred (1 Corinthians 7)

Speaking of 1 Corinthians, chapter 7 is speaking of a specific situation. Paul is showing the church how to apply the universal principle of godly love in a godless and cruel culture. It has nothing to do with a 21st century woman married to a son of Belial. That is the reason God gave us divorce to begin with.

Second, the idea seems to be that by separation the abuser will see the errors of his ways and repent. This belief is hopelessly naive and ultimately tempting God. I wrote about this here.

So the abused spouse is expected to remain alone, drive herself into poverty, and live in continuous fear of harm rather than accept the remedy that God has provided, simply because some preacher somewhere said that God hates divorce.

I’m not buying it, and it isn’t actually taught in the scripture.

When the law prescribes death for the adulterer, it is showing us how hateful it is in the eyes of God for the covenant of marriage to be broken. But it isn’t the one sinned against that was culpable. It was the one who broke the covenant.

Whether that covenant was broken through sexual sin, degradation, reviling, depravation of food, sleep, safety, or other actions of hate, God has provided a remedy for the one who has been sinned against (Exodus 21:9-10)

Because he hates her, let him send her away, says the Lord God of Israel. (Malachi 2:16)

Hope this helps.

 

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Thanksgiving and longing

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope. My soul waits for the Lord More than those who watch for the morning— Yes, more than those who watch for the morning. O Israel, hope in the LORD; For with the LORD there is mercy, And with Him is abundant redemption. And He shall redeem Israel From all his iniquities. (Psalm 130:5-8)

Another thanksgiving, it seems, when we are in mourning. We grieve the loss of so many things, and yet we hear the voice of scripture urging us to rejoice always. Give thanks at all times.

How do you rejoice in the midst of loss and grief?

If there were nothing to long for, nothing to lose, and nothing to love, then there would be no grief. You cannot mourn the loss of loved ones if there were no loved ones.

You cannot mourn unless there is love. And you cannot love unless there is a remnant of beauty in this world.

We mourn because we aren’t home yet. We mourn because we long for beauty, and beauty is so fleeting. We mourn because we loved deeply and that which we loved was taken away.

We mourn because our hearts long for Eden, and right now we are east of Eden, waiting for the Tabernacle of God to descend from heaven.

We mourn because we are waiting through the dark night longing for the morning in the land where there is no night.

We mourn because of death and the curse and saying goodbye. And the reason that these things hurt us so deeply is because we are human, created for something deeper, more beautiful, more lasting, more pure, than that which we see on this earth.

And longing wouldn’t be possible if we weren’t made for something to long for: for love, for goodness, for wisdom and for beauty.

And we have those remnants still in our hearts and long for the day when those longings will finally be filled.

Only the heart that loves deeply can grieve. Cold hearts can see nothing but grey. They refuse to grieve so they refuse to love. They refuse to wait for morning, so the spend their days in eternal dusk, refusing to hope for light.

But the living heart desires, loves, longs – and this means that the living heart also grieves.

Love and beauty are good things, though. Desire and longing point to redemption, when the night passes and day springs eternal.

And that is truly something to be thankful for.

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